Sunday, March 24, 2013

Reflections on Motherhood

Tonight as I sat on the edge of Levi's bed, one hand being held by a sleepy Levi and the other wrapped around a sleeping Kayden, both children silent and still with me in the same moment, I felt such an unexpected rush of gratitude.  I've known for my entire life that I wanted to be a mom.  That this is what I was created to be.  And yet, in those 25 years of being preparing, nothing could have fully prepared me for the amount of love that is bursting forth for these two children today. 

Levi is a handful these days.  He is feeling the loss of having mommy and daddy all to himself and it is often coming out in testing ways.  And yet, tonight after supper, he and I spent 15 minutes just laughing together.  Sitting at the table and looking at each other and laughing uncontrollably with each other for no reason other than being happy to be together.

Kayden is so sweet.  She does cry, occasionally, and sometimes it's for no apparent reason at all, but my heart is so full when I look into her eyes and she looks into mine!  My love for her just grows every day as I get to know her more and as our connection deepens.

I am incredibly blessed to be able to call these two children mine.  They are indeed gifts from God and I will never take them for granted.  Having three years to ponder what life might look like without children has landed me in a place now of being humbled and grateful, a place unlike any I would have been in without that period of waiting. 

When we named our children, we took into consideration the meanings of their names, middle names especially. We gave Levi the name "Jonathan" because it means "God has given."  We gave Kayden the name "Grace" because it is by God's grace that we are fully healed and that Nathan and I have not one but two beautiful children.

So tonight I am feeling extra thankful for these two wonders who share life with us.  And thankful that I am called their mother.  All praise to HIM...forever and ever.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


I have been growing my hair out for the past 8 months. The theory was that longer hair would be easier with a new baby because I could tie it back. Well enough was enough. Not easier. Today it was time for a change. Oh how I love change...



And the 20's say "Welcome back, Niki.  We missed you while you were hanging out back in junior high with that awkward long hair thrown into a pony-tail every day..."

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Picture Post - thankful

 We have been so blessed.  Worth the wait :)

Monday, March 4, 2013

One Month Old

Kayden is one month old today.  It feels like she's been here so much longer!

- weighs about 8.5lbs
- eyes are still dark blue...wondering if they'll stay blue or turn brown as we initially expected?  Levi's were brown by the time he was a month old, but technically he was three weeks older than Kayden is now...
- nights are hit or miss.  Some nights Kayden is up every 3 hours like clock-work, eats and is right back to sleep in 20 minutes.  Other nights she thinks it's time to be awake and will grunt and fuss and make noises in her crib for 2 hours.  I prefer the first of the two...
- The comments we get most often are:
     - she's so tiny!
     - chubby cheeks!
     - perfect skin
     - so feminine
- she sleeps much better than Levi ever did (except being awake during the night, which Levi never was)...she sleeps DEEPLY and isn't easily disturbed...she goes to bed at a reasonable time each night - between 10-11pm
- Kayden hates having her diaper changed, though doesn't shriek nearly as loudly when that cold wipe touches her tush as she used to!
- Kayden is in cloth diapers as of week 3...after we spent $25 each week for the first 3 weeks in disposables, we rushed her into cloth as quickly as we could!  The smell is much less toxic as well :)
- Kayden is wearing 0-3 month clothes (we've already had to put away the newborn sizes!)
- Levi loves his baby sister and will often snuggle up to her or ask to hold her...then right away asks me to go get the camera and take a picture of him and his sister
- At the beginning, we couldn't imagine having a more content little girl.  Now she seems to be bothered a bit more by gas, but is still, generally, quite content
- she is a pro at holding her head up.  She wants to take in everything around her and will often bring her head up off our chests when we hold her to see what she's missing.  And she doesn't even do too many face-plants when her neck gets tired, either.  So proud :)