Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Blue or Pink, that is the question...

It's almost ultrasound time.  As in, halfway through pregnancy and time to decide whether we want to find out the gender.  And Nathan and I really don't know what we want to do.  Do we find out early?  Do we wait until the delivery room? 

With Levi, we didn't find out.  I didn't want to know, Nathan didn't want to know.  So we didn't.  Well, we wanted to know, but we wanted the surprise at the end even more.  We also decided to wait until the end because we wanted the delivery room surprise at least once.  We knew that we might find out the genders of later children because we're not opposed to doing that, but we knew that waiting until the end would be so much harder if we'd already found out the gender at ultrasound time with #1. 

So here we are again.  Do we peek or not?  With Levi, I had a strong feeling early on that it was a boy...and it was!  This time I have a strong feeling again.  So naturally I want to find out if I'm right.  BUT, as of last night, there's another reason I want to know.  I have dreams.  They are usually quite vivid and detailed.  Before we had Levi (like, a couple years before?) I dreamed that we had a little dark-haired baby boy named Levi.  And then we did.  Last night, I dreamed that this baby was a boy.  (and that Nathan wanted to name him Belteshazzar, but I'm pretty sure that part isn't prophetic.)  So now that has me wondering too!  I honestly don't care which gender this baby is.  I wouldn't be disappointed either way.  But I'm really curious and those last few weeks before Levi was born were TORTURE as we waited to find out WHO was in there! 

I'm not a big surprise person.  I don't mind surprises if I don't know that they're coming (surprise party, anyone?).  But if I know that something is coming and I'm not allowed to know what, that drives me up the wall! (sidenote: I went to our church's youth group throughout high school and our youth group had a planning committee made up of our youth leaders and a few youth.  I wasn't on the planning committee but one or two of my closest friends were and they would often plan events and not give out any details about what was happening.  Yet they would hint about them and talk about them with other committee members, even when I was there.  It drove me crazy and I never enjoyed the events more because they were a "surprise."  Never.)  I kinda think this situation could fit into that category, right?  May as well find out and I can still be surprised at birth with how our little one looks and what his/her temperament is like and such.  On the other hand, I've always been taught to not peek at Christmas gifts as it will ruin Christmas morning.  So part of me is wondering if peeking at the gender during the ultrasound will ruin delivery day.  Alot of me thinks it's totally different and I'm fairly certain that I won't actually mind knowing ahead of time and not having that surprise at the end.  But what if I regret finding out?  What if? 

Nathan and I are totally on the same page about this.  He feels just like I do.  He's curious.  He feels like we've had the surprise once and that it would be fun to know this time.  So who knows what we'll do.  What I'm really wondering is WHAT DO YOU THINK?  Did you find out your kids' genders via ultrasound?  If you haven't had kids, would you find out if you were in this situation?  Did you regret your decision (either to find out or to leave it a mystery)?  Has anyone out there found out via ultrasound and had it be wrong?  Do share your thoughts and experiences!

Before our ultrasound, Nathan and I will decide which way we are going to go and probably won't give out any details either way :)  We're quite on the fence and could go either way.  It really depends on the hour with us.  But add your voice to the swirling thoughts in my head and give me your two cents!  Go!

Levi's Birthday Wishlist

Because alot of Levi's family doesn't see him on a regular basis, here are a few things that Levi likes right now.  Might be some birthday/Christmas ideas here? (starred items are ones he especially seems to enjoy)  And don't feel like you need to get him anything.  If nothing else, this list can just be a glimpse into who this little boy is :)

- *lawn mowers
- dump trucks
- loaders
- diggers
- motorcycles
- *school busses
- *semi trucks
- garbage trucks
- *tractors
- *alphabet (has seen the Leap Frog magnetic alphabet toys on people's fridges and LOVES them)
- books
- tools/fixing
- animals
- *trains
- airplanes
- boats
- *trampolines

And for clothes, Levi wears:
- size 2T or 24m
- shoes: size 6

This is definitely not an exhaustive list.  Levi likes ALL toys :) He isn't too picky!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Proud Mama and Belly Update

First off, I have been such a proud mommy these past, well, 2 years really.  But in the last 6 months it seems like our "baby" has turned into such a big boy!  He is sleeping in a big boy bed, he is talking more and more all the time (and making sense more than just random words), he is displaying that he has a long(er) term memory as he recounts stories from days/weeks ago, he is diaper-less (with basically no accidents (night or day), he is high-chair-less (preferring to sit on a stool at the table rather than in his chair, which is now in the basement because it just wasn't being used), he understands basic reasoning (you don't want to put on your pants but we can't go outside if you don't put on your pants so would you rather have no pants inside or put on pants and go outside?).  He even calls himself a "boy" instead of a "baby" now.  What a little man we've been raising.  He is a delight, that's for sure.  He still doesn't sleep through the night on a regular basis, often getting up once or twice or three times a night.  We take him potty and put him back to bed and sometimes that works and sometimes he just wants a "mommy hug" or "rock-rock"... which sounds sweet but is really code for "let me stay awake longer so I can ask for more things like water, stories, etc").  One day he'll sleep through the night though, or at least take himself to the pottty when he wakes up and oh what a day that will be!

The pregnancy has been going well.  I'm feeling back to my "old" self again, except that I have a bump.  My energy is returning (wasn't sure I'd ever see that again) and what little nausea there was has been gone for a few weeks now.  It's funny, when we talk about having more kids, Nathan says, "Oh man, I don't know.  Remember those first couple months and how hard they were?" And I remind him that I didn't even puke once and had relatively zero nausea that was gone before the second trimester.  I have it almost as easy as anyone when it comes to first trimester sickness.  True, I felt like I was going to die from lack of energy, but really it's not so bad.  I think Nathan must just be used to me being able to do stuff around the house and it hurts him when I'm just laying around with tears in my eyes because I couldn't possibly walk from the table to the kitchen sink or lift another spoonful of lasagna to my mouth because I just don't have the energy.  It sounds funny now, but truly, that's how my days were.  I was  But that's gone now for a couple months.  Yay!  Well, Levi is going to wake up from his nap any time now so I'll leave you with the latest belly shot.  And for comparison, I'll also include a belly shot from last time so you can see how much bigger I am this time (no twins, as much as I wouldn't have minded...we've already had an ultrasound and, unless they aren't telling me something, we have one little nugget in there, not two).

3 mos - 15-16w - BABY #2
4.5 mos - 20w - LEVI

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Picture Post!

I just realized as I was resizing these photos for uploading that Levi is either in gitch or naked in all of the pictures.'s not that I'm trying to show off the fact that my 22 month old boy is potty trained (though he is).  It's not that I'm trying to show you how incredibly cute he is in gitch (though he is).  It's just so hot in our house this summer that often Levi just plays like this.  So be it.  He's got the rest of his life to wear clothes...

Sidenote: Levi loves to refer to himself as "cowboy" these days.  He's no longer "baby."  He points to himself and either says, "boy" or "cowboy."  LOVE IT!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Baby News

Guess what, everyone?  Baby #2 is on it's way!  Levi is going to be a big brother!  We're going to have TWO kids.  Now that is crazy.  But...BUT...the numbers are still on our side.  One kid to one adult.  Those are workable numbers.  When numero tres comes to town, look out!  More kids than adults could get interesting!  But who knows if that will even happen :)  So we'll just deal with #2 and see where we go from there.

So yeah!  Pregnant again.  We never did stop trying after Levi was born.  I wanted our kids close.  Like, really close.  My max age span was 2 years apart.  I really wanted the first two 13-18 months apart (my sister and I are just over 13 months apart and I love it) but when we didn't get pregnant within the first year of Levi's life, I knew I could write that off!  Nice thing was, when Levi was 17 months old I was SO glad that we weren't adding another little munchkin to the clan right then!  This timing is looking like it will be perfect.

Want to know the greatest thing about the impending arrival of baby #2?  Baby is due in February.  Do any long-time blog readers remember the significance of February when it comes to the timing of our children?  (read here for the beginning of the story) Long story short, as we were struggling through infertility, at one point I felt God telling me to expect a baby in February.  My best guess would be that this was in 2007-08 sometime.  February's came and went and still no baby.  Finally, on February 13, 2010 we had our first positive pregnancy test in over 3 years of trying.  And Levi was born that October.  So, do you see the interesting twist in this story?  I assumed that the February prophecy had been fulfilled in full, seeing as we found out we were expecting a baby in February.  When I figured out that we were expecting this baby to be born in February, I was floored!  How crazy is that?  Now, the wildest thing would be if the next baby was actually conceived in February.  But we won't push it.  So that's the crazy God-story about February.

We found out that we were expecting in mid-June.  Alot earlier than with Levi.  I had been taking my temperature so I kinda knew when I was late and wondered if I could be pregnant but also felt like it just simply hadn't been long enough trying for pregnancy to be possible.  (I assumed that it took us a minimum of 3 years to conceive a baby, rather than other people's one to six cycles) I saw the positive on the test and ran out and told Nathan.  I'm pretty sure I was dancing a bit too :D

It's a strange feeling when you get pregnant so quickly (first year of "trying" was basically a write-off so I'd say this baby took us 8-9 months) after having the first take so long.  It's a feeling of shock.  It's a feeling of disbelief.  It's a feeling of "is it really that easy?" and "I don't have to endure years of negative pregnancy tests first?"  It's a feeling of finally feeling like a "normal" couple and then having your former, infertile-couple self feel a bit jealous of the new you and shun you.  I'm no longer in the infertility camp.  Women who struggle with infertility no longer see me as one of them.  Can I still relate?  Do I even have anything to say to a woman who is in the midst of infertility?  I do remember the emotions.  I do remember the feeling of hopelessness and the questions and the grief.  And yet I'm not there anymore.  So where do I belong?  I also don't feel like I'm completely on the side of being a "normal" couple who might plan the birthdates of their kids or take pregnancy for granted.  I cling to each wave of nausea.  Each muscle cramp.  Each day of dressing my swelling abdomen like a new accessory is a miracle that I feared I might never experience again.

So this is where I am.  Where we are.  How am I feeling? Less nauseous than last time.  Different things work for me to eat or don't work for me to eat than last time.  When I was 11 or 12 weeks pregnant and showing as much as 17 weeks last time (baby #2 is DIFFERENT!).  I am exhausted beyond belief.  Yowzers, I could just sleep forever.  And yet, the thing is that even when my mind isn't tired or when I'm not actually sleepy, my body is just TIRED.  I once read that every day that you're pregnant takes as much energy as running a marathon.  I'm starting to believe that.  Running after an almost 2 year old this time is alot different than sitting on the couch in California last time and napping whenever my body desired.  I am preserving energy wherever I can, people.  Dishes don't get done after every meal (ok, when has that ever happened beyond the first month of marriage).  Laundry doesn't get put away (though part of the reason for that is because Nathan doesn't want me lifting the heavy laundry baskets). But Levi and Nathan are being loved.  And I'm taking care of myself and baby.  And I consider those my most important jobs these days. 

Thanks for reading, everyone.  If you'd like to say a quick prayer for us today, you can pray that I'll have energy to do the things that need to get done and that baby will grow to be beautiful and healthy and a good sleeper.