It's almost ultrasound time. As in, halfway through pregnancy and time to decide whether we want to find out the gender. And Nathan and I really don't know what we want to do. Do we find out early? Do we wait until the delivery room?
With Levi, we didn't find out. I didn't want to know, Nathan didn't want to know. So we didn't. Well, we wanted to know, but we wanted the surprise at the end even more. We also decided to wait until the end because we wanted the delivery room surprise at least once. We knew that we might find out the genders of later children because we're not opposed to doing that, but we knew that waiting until the end would be so much harder if we'd already found out the gender at ultrasound time with #1.
So here we are again. Do we peek or not? With Levi, I had a strong feeling early on that it was a boy...and it was! This time I have a strong feeling again. So naturally I want to find out if I'm right. BUT, as of last night, there's another reason I want to know. I have dreams. They are usually quite vivid and detailed. Before we had Levi (like, a couple years before?) I dreamed that we had a little dark-haired baby boy named Levi. And then we did. Last night, I dreamed that this baby was a boy. (and that Nathan wanted to name him Belteshazzar, but I'm pretty sure that part isn't prophetic.) So now that has me wondering too! I honestly don't care which gender this baby is. I wouldn't be disappointed either way. But I'm really curious and those last few weeks before Levi was born were TORTURE as we waited to find out WHO was in there!
I'm not a big surprise person. I don't mind surprises if I don't know that they're coming (surprise party, anyone?). But if I know that something is coming and I'm not allowed to know what, that drives me up the wall! (sidenote: I went to our church's youth group throughout high school and our youth group had a planning committee made up of our youth leaders and a few youth. I wasn't on the planning committee but one or two of my closest friends were and they would often plan events and not give out any details about what was happening. Yet they would hint about them and talk about them with other committee members, even when I was there. It drove me crazy and I never enjoyed the events more because they were a "surprise." Never.) I kinda think this situation could fit into that category, right? May as well find out and I can still be surprised at birth with how our little one looks and what his/her temperament is like and such. On the other hand, I've always been taught to not peek at Christmas gifts as it will ruin Christmas morning. So part of me is wondering if peeking at the gender during the ultrasound will ruin delivery day. Alot of me thinks it's totally different and I'm fairly certain that I won't actually mind knowing ahead of time and not having that surprise at the end. But what if I regret finding out? What if?
Nathan and I are totally on the same page about this. He feels just like I do. He's curious. He feels like we've had the surprise once and that it would be fun to know this time. So who knows what we'll do. What I'm really wondering is WHAT DO YOU THINK? Did you find out your kids' genders via ultrasound? If you haven't had kids, would you find out if you were in this situation? Did you regret your decision (either to find out or to leave it a mystery)? Has anyone out there found out via ultrasound and had it be wrong? Do share your thoughts and experiences!
Before our ultrasound, Nathan and I will decide which way we are going to go and probably won't give out any details either way :) We're quite on the fence and could go either way. It really depends on the hour with us. But add your voice to the swirling thoughts in my head and give me your two cents! Go!
8 comments:
LOVE your frequent posting again :)
We were in the same boat. Gav was a surprise, but we found out with Indie (and didn't even keep it a secret from others, I'm TERRIBLE at secret keeping!). We were completely fine with a boy or girl too.
No regrets about not finding out with Gavin. Absolutely no regrets in finding out with Indie. Grant it, I was already wrestling with feeling so out of control of the whole pregnancy experience - I think it helped me to feel like I could get excited about her and dream about what life with two would be like.
Either way you go, I'm sure you two will figure out what's best in your situation. Hope you can agree :)
We didn't find out with Tyler, and did (though accidentally) with Logan. I loved aspects of both, but if I had to pick which I preferred, I think it would be not knowing. The profound moment when the baby is born and meeting them I found to be such a different experience when accompanied by the "it's a..."! Logan's birth was no less special, mind you, but I did love the feeling of finding out for the first time as I met my child. :)
We have had both knowing and not knowing. We didn't know with the boys because we weren't allowed to be told by the hospital and weren't about to pay someplace else to tell us. We were okay with that. The technician was guessing with Rheanna based on what he didn't see as opposed to what he did see but wasn't really supposed to say anything. But with the last 2 girls, we found out for sure (they changed hospital policy by then) and were okay with that, too. By the time we were having baby #4 there is less of a romance with knowing at the birth and more of a need to be prepared ahead of time! Plus, Jay always announced it as, "Say hello to . . . ." and it was so lovely to hear whether we knew ahead of time or not. That mystery of what they look like and their personality can never be determined ahead of time and those hold more "romance" for me than to know the gender. Just my two cents . . .
PS: Your "prove you're not a robot" thing is REALLY hard to read - refreshed it 3 times! :)
We've never found out, mostly because our hospital refuses to tell you anything.
I think if I had to make this decision I'd probably go for not knowing just because, even if I did find out, I'd want it to be a surprise for everyone else and keeping the secret would be torture!
If and when we can have kids, we'll want to find out ahead of time. I had a good laugh at your description of suprises. I SO agree. I'm not a suprise person either, and I feel like you can't really "spoil" your delivery day, because there will still be so much to get acquainted with your little boy/girl that there a lot of unknown there regardless of gender.
This is probably just a romantic notion, but I like the idea of being able to identify more clearly with the little individual in your belly, possibly giving him/her a name before birth, etc. That's just me. It is probably evidence of my controlling nature. (which begs the question: in that case, should it be indulged?! Aggghh! The indecision!)
We knew all 3 times. I had a strong feeling with Alexis and I hate surprises when I think I know whats happening. (ie. Last minute change of plans) That proabably doesn't make sense. Anyways it turns out my strong feeling was wrong. It was way better for us to know then to have me reeling in the delivery room because I was so sure I knew what I was having. People unintentionally made me feel bad about knowing so we were all set to not find out on round number 2 but the the words twins threw that decision out the window. We needed to know and be prepared. I found it much easier both times to connect and enjoy my pregnancy by knowing. I was so sick both times it made it easier to imagine the little girls who would be arriving at the end. I think my delievery room experience was no less special for knowing. For me it was about a healthy baby(s) and I didn't really care if I knew or not. I think its up to you. For us it was better to know.
Well, we've only had one kid and we found out so that's the only experience that I've had but here are my two cents . . .
As soon as I found out what we were having it felt more real to me. We had a boy name and a girl name picked out and once we found out we were having a girl we felt like we were getting to know Raeca and not just getting to know "baby". We did tell people that we were having a girl but we didn't tell them her name. We wanted to make sure that once we saw her she looked like a Raeca. :)
None of my close friends found out the genders for their first kids and when they refer to their pregnancies they still refer it their babies as "it", not her or him or by their names.
Like I said, since I've only done it the one way that's the only way I can comment on but if we have another baby we both want to find out what we are having again. It worked for us. Oh, and also, we were on the same page from the beginning, we both wanted to find out so it wasn't as if one person was getting their way or anything. :)
Post a Comment