I'm actually feeling pretty relaxed about the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, there have been moments of "what are we doing???" and "are we sure we want to do this?" but now that the house is sold and the moving date is set, the excitement is just building and I'm getting ready to spend our first winter on the farm! Well...acreage...
I have a few thoughts about this move:
First, moving in October isn't ideal. I didn't think much of the fact that we might be moving in fall as this whole deal was coming together but now that I'm packing up, I feel like it's going against the grain of what my body is naturally wanting to do. Fall, for me, is a time of settling into routine, of making sure everything is ready for winter, of putting down roots and buckling down for the cold winter months ahead. I am very much a squirrel in that sense. And I never realized this about myself until this year, when I'm very much doing the opposite. For me to be putting everything into boxes and taking them to a new house in October...my body/mind doesn't know what to do with itself! I'm excited about the move yet I feel myself hanging back and wondering if I even really want to move. This concerned me a bit (um, not wanting to move when you are, in fact, moving is a terrifying feeling!) until I realized the squirrel thing, and then it made complete sense to me why I might be feeling more apprehension than expected. My subconscious is wanting me to stay and buckle down while my body is physically putting everything into boxes and getting ready to move. Weird feeling, people. But it's all good. I find that often once I have words for how I'm feeling, once I can understand why I'm feeling the way I am, I can deal with it and let myself feel it.
Second, I'm a person who likes to know details and how everything is going to work out. Well, actually now that I write that, that doesn't feel quite right. I don't actually care about the details. There is a sense of adventure in not knowing the details and I'm good with adventure and spontaneity. I feel a bit suffocated if there's pressure on me to figure out all the details ahead of time. I honestly don't care much about the HOW. What I want to know is that it will, indeed, work out! If I know that, I have no problem letting the rest fall to whatever happens, happens. My biggest worry is that somehow we'll just have so many unexpected expenses that we just simply won't be able to make it work. Cause really, we've never owned an acreage before so there could easily be expenses that we just didn't expect or plan for. We've done our research, but there's always SOMETHING that comes up and when you pay for your own water and sewer...there's alot more to go wrong to add unexpected expenses! The way this whole move has come together, though, has had God written all over it and I doubt He would lead us into financial ruin, so I guess I just need to trust that it will work out. God has always provided in the past. ie: Hello, having an unexpected (prayed for and hoped for but unexpected nonetheless) baby right in the middle of two years of zero income while Nathan was a student. It worked out and I wouldn't change a thing! It was an adventure! We just learned to trust that we would have what we needed, to be generous with what we were given, and to live on absolutely nothing. And it was quite an amazing time in our marriage! So I'm sure this will be good too ;)
I started packing today. I'd rather not rush so I'm giving myself two weeks to get everything moved. Yeah, sounds nuts and maybe it is. I've never packed a house with two kids but I've packed a house with zero kids in two days and one kid in under a week, though, so two weeks with two kids should be perfect! Here's hoping! And I've never had a helpful three year old packing with me so I'm sure that will speed up the process all the more! Right? ;)
2 comments:
No, God most definitely will not lead you into financial ruin! ;) I know that even if unexpected expenses come up(which they probably will at some point), He will absolutely provide. I think sometimes we are so spoiled we just don't realize that "providing" doesn't mean "keeping life as cushy as it always was". I know you guys obviously have a better perspective on that, though, with the experiences you went through when you had Levi!
After this week(I hope?!) of horror is over, please feel free to recruit me if packing takes longer than expected! I can definitely identify with the tug-of-war feeling with part of you being excited and part of you wanting to just nest. I feel like that every time an exciting/happy change is coming, but that is probably because I resist change and dislike spontaneity! What if the unexpected happens?!! Better just stick with what is the usual... ;) (and that is why I'm boring!) - Katie
Isn't it crazy how at this age we can still be learning and having "aha moments" about ourselves! I think you make a great squirrel :)
If you run into unexpectedness,in needing things fixed, or replaced or whatever, let us know. I can never get over Ben's resourcefulness at finding things. He's a Kijiji hound!
Otherwise...super pumped for you and your family!
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