Number 3: Parents

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

Tough question.  Now, how do I answer this knowing my parents will read it??? :P Just kidding.  I wouldn't answer the question any differently, even if I knew they wouldn't read it.  Or would I?  Hmm... ;)

I'd say I've always had a lot of respect for my parents.  I've always known that they have my best interests in mind and trust that what they are doing is best.  That, in itself, is a huge thing for a daughter to be able to say (and I sure hope my kids will be able to say the same thing of Nathan and myself!).  Because of this respect, I didn't fight with my parents growing up.  I didn't always agree with some of their decisions but it was never a matter of raising voices or standing up to them (that I remember, correct me if I'm wrong, Mom and Dad!).  I've always felt that Mom and Dad had respect for me, and I, in return, had respect for them.  I always felt that they respected my decisions, which encouraged me to try to make the best decisions possible because I never felt like I needed to prove anything.  I knew that I was making decisions for myself because Mom and Dad would go along with whatever I chose - though at some point if I started being dumb, I'm sure they would certainly have stepped in!  For instance, when I was 19, I was at the supper table with my parents (and siblings, most likely) and randomly said, "Nathan and I are talking about getting married in spring" and they didn't even bat an eye.  If that doesn't prove trust and respect, I don't know what does.  If I felt that my parents would have put up a huge fight when I announced that, I might have been more prone to make a rash decision about getting married so young, just to prove that I could win the fight.  But, knowing that my parents would trust that I knew what I was doing and support me, I made the decision carefully and, frankly, the way you should make the decision to marry someone.  Completely for yourself.  There were many smaller decisions throughout high school that were made the same way (didn't smoke, drink, do drugs).  If I'd felt that my parents would argue about everything I did, I might have acted out a bit more, just to prove that I can do what I want without really thinking about what was good for me.  Does any of this make sense???  I'm not exactly sure how to describe it.

As an adult, I still have huge respect for my parents, but the relationship has shifted.  It's more of a friendship than a parent-child relationship.  I am close enough to my mom and dad that I go to them for advice - like when we were thinking about buying the acreage - and I trust what they say.  I'd say that my parents are easy to be around and we have a casual, loving relationship.  We see each other about every month or two (they are 3.5 hours away) but pick up right where we leave off every time.  

It has been interesting to see my parents in the grandparent role now that we have kids.  I'd say now, more than ever, I have an appreciation for how they parented my brother, sister, and I.  And to see them step back from the parenting role and lean into grandparenting...it's wonderful.  I don't mind leaving my kids with my parents one bit because I know that they will respect the decisions Nathan and I have made about how we want to parent and they'll have fun with the kids without breaking all the rules and "spoiling" the kids too badly while we're away.  They've struck a good balance :)  

Overall, I'd say mutual respect is a theme in our relationship, as well as my never having questioned their love and intentions.  I trust them fully and appreciate everything they have done, and still do, for me.  I love you, Mom and Dad!  I'd say our relationship is a good one!