Number 2: Fears

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

Let's start big...fears.  I'd like to think that I don't have a huge number of fears.  But here goes...

1. Fear of being somewhere new and not having any idea where to go or what's going on.  How did it become a fear?  When I was in grade 4 or 5, I went to school one morning and, as per usual, I must have been a few minutes late getting there.  I walked into my classroom like I did every morning and there was nobody there.  And there was nobody in the next classroom or, really, in the entire school.  It was all empty.  I had no idea what was going on or where everyone was.  I biked home as fast as I could in tears because I was so scared.  My mom made some phone calls and found out that the school (or at the very least the rest of my grade - 3 classes worth of students) had gone to the local plywood mill for a tour.  My mom drove me there, I met the rest of my class and the day continued on.  But I guess that moment of "where is everyone?  what's going on?" really stuck with me because any time I'm going into a situation where I might not know how to find the person I'm looking for or not know where I'm supposed to go, I panic a little inside.  I've gotten a lot better at improvising and not letting it get to me but every once in a while I still have that moment of fear when I'm in a situation and don't know where to go.

2. Losing my family.  I don't know where this fear came from.  Maybe it was my first (and only) boyfriend breakup in high school that came completely out of the blue.  Maybe it's just natural for everyone who has a family to fear losing them.  Maybe it is the incredible struggle we had to ever have kids (not saying that people who don't experience infertility don't fear losing their families...just that it brought up a bunch of theological questions for me and thus, my huge fear of losing my family).  Whatever it was, I am terrified that one day I'll lose my husband or one of my kids.

3. Mice.  Maybe this is more of a *shudder* type reaction than a fear reaction but either way it is STRONG!  I've never liked mice but my real "fear" of mice came when I was 18.  I'd moved out of the house (kinda) and was back at my parents' place for the summer between years of Bible school.  I was in my old bedroom but my bed had been sold because my parents were preparing for a move and knew I likely wouldn't need my twin bed anymore.  Thus, I was on a mattress on the floor.  Fine.  Enter: mouse coming through a hole in the wall 12 inches from my head.  While I'm sleeping on the floor.  I can see it faintly through the soft glow of my clock radio and it's coming closer and closer to my bed ON THE FLOOR.  I didn't know if I should move and try to get away - what if it freaks out and runs toward me instead of back into the wall??  Should I stay still and hope that it doesn't touch me?  I couldn't think of a good solution so I just lay there praying that it wouldn't take a flying leap onto my pillow (they can do that, you know).  Eventually I probably just threw something at it or turned on the light and it went back to it's home.  I remember trying to stuff a sock into the hole but that it managed to push the sock aside and come through one more time.  After that, I really jammed the sock in the hole good and spent the next few hours just laying there, not blinking and watching the hole.  I've hated mice with a passion ever since.  And feared their jump-attacks incredibly.