Number 11 - Pet Peeves

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

1. People being extraordinarily cheerful first thing in the morning...and expecting me to talk, be chipper, look alive...

2. Related to #1 yet completely different...people waking me up and then being grumpy in the morning. If you're going to be up early, and wake me up early, at least be happy/neutral so I don't have to deal directly with you until I've fully woken up. You can probably imagine who those people usually are in my life. :P

3.  People not replying to emails quickly.  Now, I understand that some people are not online checking emails/messages more than once or twice a day...so then I don't expect an answer before the next day. I also understand that some people are busy and can't reply right away, even if they see my message (it happens to the best of us). But I know that other people are online every hour or two (thank you, fb) so how is there time to check the news feed but not time to send a little response?  I guess it's just me growing up in the age of everything being instant, but it bugs me when people take their time replying, even though I can see that they saw my message already (6 hours ago!). 

4. Grammar mistakes. Many of us are wholly dedicated to one language, let's see if we can master it, shall we? Or at least make an effort? In particular, the use of lend/borrow gets me EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.  If you're reading this, please take note of the following:

If I am receiving the item, I am borrowing it.
If I am letting someone use something that is mine, I am lending it. 
If someone is taking something that is mine to use for a while, they are borrowing it.
If someone else is letting me use something that is theirs, they are lending it.

end rant.

5. People who chew with their mouth open bug me to no end.  Or rather, their habit of chewing with their mouth open is what bugs me.  The people themselves are often quite nice.

6. When people ask me for recipes.  Most of the time it's ok because I just got the recipe off Pinterest or whatever.  But there are a few things that I've been making for years and every time I serve them, I get compliments.  I'm not sure why it bugs me; why would I care?  I guess I just want to be the person who makes those things. If everyone had the recipe, would it still be special when I made it for them?

7. Whiny kids...mine or anyone else's.  This excludes tired or hungry kids.  I understand that (though it can also be annoying).  I'm talking about kids who whine because they know it will help them get their way.  Also, lippy kids.

8. Rude people.

9. People who complain about how people use their cell phones and then do the exact same thing.

10. When someone rides in my seat in our van and adjusts the seat.  Don't tough the controls, people.  I have them just how I like them. 

Number 6: Hardest Thing

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

The hardest thing I have ever experienced?  Well, I would have to say, hands down, infertility.  It's the thing that immediately jumps into my head when I read this question.  And yet it's weird because, when I actually think about it, I keep thinking to myself that there must be something harder that I've gone through.  So many people have had to go through incredibly tough things like losing a child or losing a parent or other family member (untimely death) or fighting debilitating illness.  But I think my wondering whether there was something harder is an indication of how it is being on the other side of infertility.  Memories get fuzzy.  You remember that it was hard without actually remembering the tears and anger and raw emotion of it.  But it was...it was tough.  The hardest thing for me.

When you are in the throes of infertility, wondering what the rest of your life will look like, wondering if you will ever see your dreams come true...it's the hardest thing.  It's hard to plan more than a month or two in advance because what if you're dealing with morning sickness right when you're trying to backpack through Europe?  Or what if you have a newborn right when you have a huge deadline?  You can't plan for the future.  What kind of house do you buy?  A cozy little one bedroom that would be perfect for a couple?  Or do you aim big and hope that one day the empty bedrooms will start filling up?  And those are just some of the logistical things.  What about the emotional roller coaster??  Trying to convince yourself that life could be ok with no kids when that's the only way you've ever pictured your life; the only thing you've ever dreamed of.  Spending every Sunday morning choking back tears because you want to be that mom in church with her pew full of snacks and toys...but it's just not happening. 

Our journey through infertility was a hard one for me.  I found that it affected a portion of 9 out of 10 days in one way or another.  It was a constant weight.  Will it happen one day or won't it?  What part of my cycle are we in right now?  What more could we be doing to improve our chances?  Will this be the month?  It's not happening, do I move on and try to find some other dream that might come close to making me feel fulfilled?  What if I start to pursue another career only to get pregnant after spending $40,000 on schooling?  So.many.questions.  So.many.emotions.  Those years that were spent trying to grow our family were tough, tough years.  In day to day life, now busy with two kids, I often forget what it was like.  I am losing my sensitivity to others who may be in that situation (and I hate that I am!).  It was the hardest thing I have had to go through because it felt like a constant ebb and flow of hope and loss.  Hope...then loss.  And hope.  And loss.  Again and again.  I questioned everything in those years.  And then I felt guilty for questioning.  And then I stressed.  And then I tried not to stress because apparently stress can make it harder to conceive.  But that just made me stress more!  There was no winning.

I am so thankful that those years are behind me.  And yet I hope that I will always hold onto what they taught me.  About just how hard it is to stare the loss of the motherhood dream in the face...month after month.  About how I need to be sensitive to others who may be going through infertility. About who God is and how he is the same now and before those years and throughout it all.  His faithfulness didn't waver.  And if we'd never had kids, He would still be good...and righteous.  And there would still have been a plan for my life if I'd never become a mom, even if I couldn't for the life of me understand why I longed for motherhood so badly, only to have it dangled in front of me then yanked back.

Infertility is the hardest thing I've gone through.  And I know it probably doesn't make sense to anyone who hasn't gone through some form of infertility or pregnancy loss.  But it is such a hard road to walk.  So if you know anyone who is on that journey, or who you think might be...please, please go easy on them.  Please walk alongside them and support them.  Allow them to share their doubts.  Allow them to cry or rage or do whatever they need to do.  And please be sensitive.  Err on the side of sensitivity.  And pray.  Pray for their faith.  Pray for their dreams.  Pray for hope and perseverance.  Pray.

Number 5: Happy

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

In no particular order:

1. My husband and kids...especially when we're laughing and playing together.

2. Warmer weather.  I have this obsession with shoveling melting snow when the weather warms up a bit.  It's like, "Ok, Snow, you've had the upper hand for the past 6 months...now it's MY turn to dominate.  Get out of my path, snow/ice/slush! Move, move, move!"

3. That my best friend just had an adorable baby boy yesterday after wondering if they ever could/would.  How amazingly amazing is that? I just want to pick up and move to their town so I can see him all the time!  Except that I love where I live and never want to move (see number 19 HERE).

4. A clean, organized house.  Oh wait...that would make me happy. If it were true. Unfortunately I have at least 3 more days of painting ahead of me before our house will be put back together again.  So on that note, I guess the real #4 happy thing would be WHITE TRIM AND DOORS!

5. Gathering eggs.  We have been gathering eggs at a neighbour's place this week while they are out of town.  Donning my rubber boots every day and walking up to the barn while holding Levi's excited little hand and an egg pail in the other...it just feels right.  Stinks like nobody's business...but that's the price you pay for a dozen fresh brown eggs on your counter every afternoon. :)

Number 3: Parents

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

Tough question.  Now, how do I answer this knowing my parents will read it??? :P Just kidding.  I wouldn't answer the question any differently, even if I knew they wouldn't read it.  Or would I?  Hmm... ;)

I'd say I've always had a lot of respect for my parents.  I've always known that they have my best interests in mind and trust that what they are doing is best.  That, in itself, is a huge thing for a daughter to be able to say (and I sure hope my kids will be able to say the same thing of Nathan and myself!).  Because of this respect, I didn't fight with my parents growing up.  I didn't always agree with some of their decisions but it was never a matter of raising voices or standing up to them (that I remember, correct me if I'm wrong, Mom and Dad!).  I've always felt that Mom and Dad had respect for me, and I, in return, had respect for them.  I always felt that they respected my decisions, which encouraged me to try to make the best decisions possible because I never felt like I needed to prove anything.  I knew that I was making decisions for myself because Mom and Dad would go along with whatever I chose - though at some point if I started being dumb, I'm sure they would certainly have stepped in!  For instance, when I was 19, I was at the supper table with my parents (and siblings, most likely) and randomly said, "Nathan and I are talking about getting married in spring" and they didn't even bat an eye.  If that doesn't prove trust and respect, I don't know what does.  If I felt that my parents would have put up a huge fight when I announced that, I might have been more prone to make a rash decision about getting married so young, just to prove that I could win the fight.  But, knowing that my parents would trust that I knew what I was doing and support me, I made the decision carefully and, frankly, the way you should make the decision to marry someone.  Completely for yourself.  There were many smaller decisions throughout high school that were made the same way (didn't smoke, drink, do drugs).  If I'd felt that my parents would argue about everything I did, I might have acted out a bit more, just to prove that I can do what I want without really thinking about what was good for me.  Does any of this make sense???  I'm not exactly sure how to describe it.

As an adult, I still have huge respect for my parents, but the relationship has shifted.  It's more of a friendship than a parent-child relationship.  I am close enough to my mom and dad that I go to them for advice - like when we were thinking about buying the acreage - and I trust what they say.  I'd say that my parents are easy to be around and we have a casual, loving relationship.  We see each other about every month or two (they are 3.5 hours away) but pick up right where we leave off every time.  

It has been interesting to see my parents in the grandparent role now that we have kids.  I'd say now, more than ever, I have an appreciation for how they parented my brother, sister, and I.  And to see them step back from the parenting role and lean into grandparenting...it's wonderful.  I don't mind leaving my kids with my parents one bit because I know that they will respect the decisions Nathan and I have made about how we want to parent and they'll have fun with the kids without breaking all the rules and "spoiling" the kids too badly while we're away.  They've struck a good balance :)  

Overall, I'd say mutual respect is a theme in our relationship, as well as my never having questioned their love and intentions.  I trust them fully and appreciate everything they have done, and still do, for me.  I love you, Mom and Dad!  I'd say our relationship is a good one!

Number 21: Superpower

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

I've never been one for superpowers/super heroes.  But if there was such a superpower as not needing sleep, that would be the one I'd pick.  Though I'd still be able to sleep if I wanted to - I imagine it would eventually get boring to be awake all the time!  What would I do with it first?  Probably something lame like spend all night cleaning and organizing my house while nobody else was awake to undo it as I worked.  Yeah...I wasn't meant to be a super hero. :P 

Number 19: If I could live anywhere...

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

This one will be short.  If I could live anywhere, I would live right where I'm living.  On an acreage.  Perfect distance to town.  No traffic down our road.  It's pretty near perfect.  Ok...it would be a LITTLE more perfect if it didn't have such hard water.  But we have a reverse osmosis system which means we don't have to haul our excellent-tasting drinking water and we have a great well full of water which means we don't have to haul ANY water. 

Why?  Well, I love living here because we have privacy.  It's not every day that we see vehicles going by.  I love living here because it's beautiful!  We have a treed yard.  We're surrounded by pastures.  We're about a mile (maybe less?) from a gorgeous lake which we drive by every time we go to town.  I love living here because we are remote enough to not see any lights at night within at least half a mile of our yard, yet are only a 13 minute drive from town.  I love living here because we have freedom to do what we want with the yard, without any neighbours watching or talking over the fence.  I loved my neighbours in town, but it's nice to just be able to go out and not think about who might see me feeding the animals in my pajamas every morning.  I love living here because the kids will grow up outside.  They will grow up with siblings and animals as their playmates.  I love living here because we can take a few more steps to being self-sufficient through having a garden, chickens, sheep, etc.  I've always dreamed of living on an acreage and I'm so happy that we were able to buy one that is close to a wonderful small town where we see ourselves long-term. 

If I could live anywhere, I would live right here.

Number 10: Embarrassing Moment

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

Ok...embarrassing moment.  Which one to choose?  I'm going to stay away from the ones typically found in Seventeen magazine (though I have one or two of those...what girl doesn't??).  Umm.  Ok.  I've got one.

When I was in high school, I spent a couple years liking this one guy.  Long story short, we eventually dated, I was heartbroken when he dumped me...but we stayed friends.  Mostly.  It was always a little awkward but hey...we were in the same friendship circle so we were still friends. We put the dating behind us and had some truly good times after that.

Fast forward a few years.  I'm married.  He's married.  We're at a mutual friends' wedding.  As I'm leaving the ceremony, I pass him talking with another mutual friend and it is only polite to stop and say hi to the guys.  We chat for a few minutes but as I turn to leave, I totally throw out the wrong name.  THE WRONG NAME!  I liked him for YEARS.  We DATED.  We were really good friends.  And I totally called him the wrong name.  I couldn't get away fast enough.  Ugh.  It doesn't help that I called him his brother's name.  Yikes.  How do these things happen??  Ok, now I'm embarrassed all over again...shoot.  Moving on...

Number 1: Random Facts

1.  List 20 random facts about yourself.

1. I am 4'10"...short by most people's standards and often the recipient of inappropriate comments regarding my height.  The place I lived where I received the most comments/jokes about my height (besides elementary school)?  Southern Manitoba.  

2. I have one amazing husband and two beautiful and wonderful children.

3. I used to ski or snowboard every winter.

4. I played soccer in high school and Bible college and, while I never felt I was much good at it, I got the impression that I was a bit of a threat to the other team.  If nothing else, at least I was fast and fearless :P

5. My first "real" job was working at a scrapbooking store in my hometown while I was in high school.

6. When it comes to money, I am a saver.

7. It drives me crazy when my house is messy, but with two kids and a husband, I've learned to let go and not let it bother me so much. It drives me equally crazy to feel like I'm cleaning 24/7 with nothing to show for it because it gets undone as fast as I clean. Some days letting go works...other days I feel like I'm going crazy constantly tripping over things and it's only a matter of time before I go on a cleaning rampage and see how much I can get done in the next 30 minutes.  The real test is when people come over.  I desperately want my house to be clean before anyone else enters but I've also been letting go of this one.  What you see is what you get, people.

8. I learned to crochet from my mom when I was in elementary school...probably 5-6 years old.

9. I have an older sister and a younger brother.

10. I lived in the same town from kindergarten to grade 12 (but no longer than that).  I still consider that my hometown.  It's nice to have a place that's so familiar and where I recognize so many faces, even after having been gone for the last 10 years.

11. I love walking, especially when the weather is beautiful and I have some nature to look at along the way.

12. I took piano lessons from grade 4 until grade 12, always with my aunt who was the best teacher ever.  I got my grade 8 and taught some young girls for a few years when we lived in Manitoba.

13. The best job I ever had was at a lumber yard in Altona, MB.  I worked with friends, had a LOT of freedom in my hours and in the work I did, and it was actually work I enjoyed.  I needed to be organized and there was a fair amount of problem solving involved.  It suited me perfectly.  

14. The worst job I ever had was at a book printing company.  I was an accounts payable assistant and receptionist.  It was full of people telling me what to do and how to do my job.  There were constantly people looking over my shoulder (either literally or by monitoring my computer usage or double checking my work).  I had zero say in anything and got all the jobs that nobody else wanted to do.  I felt like a monkey who was paid to just get the job done and not use her mind.  That is not me.

15. I feel stifled when people put me in a box and think they have me all figured out.

16. I love houseplants.  I used to not be able to keep anything alive, even ivies and ferns.  Now I'm doing much better with them, though my Christmas cactus is looking a little sad these days...

17. I spend most of my time wearing socks and slippers (or socks and shoes outside).  I don't love sandals.  Maybe it's because I hate having dirty feet.  Or maybe because I spent a few years as a child in a country where there were these bugs called "peekays" (sp?) that would bury themselves into your feet between your toes if you went barefoot.

18. I like to make things with my hands...but I'm not great at getting things perfect like the corners matched on a quilt top.  That's why crocheting is great for me!  I can take things apart over and over again until they're right and haven't lost anything but time.

19. Sweet or salty?  Sweet.  Though if you mix sweet and salty in things like kettle corn and salted taffy...THAT is amazing!

20. I am NOT a morning person.  I admit, if I am woken earlier than I should be (pre-8am) and have to deal with something like, oh I don't know...grumpy kids? I have zero patience.  Zero.  Nathan can attest to this.  If you want to see mean and grumpy Niki, wake me up early, be super cheerful and expect things from me.  Like smiles and conversation.  Not going to happen.  When people ask me first thing in the morning how I slept, I usually respond with, "I don't know, I'm not awake yet." I've gotten better since having kids but boy...some mornings are TOUGH around here! :)

Number 4: 16 year old self

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.

1. You're not going to marry him.
2. Don't ever let yourself drop the habit of daily devotions with God...it's WAY harder to recreate a habit once you're an adult.
3. Don't be afraid to like the things you like, even if your friends don't.
4. Don't be afraid to dislike the things you dislike, even if your friends like them.
5. You WILL have a husband and kids...don't rush the time before they happen.
6. Learn Spanish while you have the time/brain power.
7. Play more piano in church before you're in a bigger, more intimidating church.
8. Thank your parents more for everything they do.
9. Spend more time with your grandparents and take more pictures of/with them...they won't be around forever.
10. Be who God created you to be NOW...don't think that it will get easier to be your true self as you get older.  It doesn't.

Number 2: Fears

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

Let's start big...fears.  I'd like to think that I don't have a huge number of fears.  But here goes...

1. Fear of being somewhere new and not having any idea where to go or what's going on.  How did it become a fear?  When I was in grade 4 or 5, I went to school one morning and, as per usual, I must have been a few minutes late getting there.  I walked into my classroom like I did every morning and there was nobody there.  And there was nobody in the next classroom or, really, in the entire school.  It was all empty.  I had no idea what was going on or where everyone was.  I biked home as fast as I could in tears because I was so scared.  My mom made some phone calls and found out that the school (or at the very least the rest of my grade - 3 classes worth of students) had gone to the local plywood mill for a tour.  My mom drove me there, I met the rest of my class and the day continued on.  But I guess that moment of "where is everyone?  what's going on?" really stuck with me because any time I'm going into a situation where I might not know how to find the person I'm looking for or not know where I'm supposed to go, I panic a little inside.  I've gotten a lot better at improvising and not letting it get to me but every once in a while I still have that moment of fear when I'm in a situation and don't know where to go.

2. Losing my family.  I don't know where this fear came from.  Maybe it was my first (and only) boyfriend breakup in high school that came completely out of the blue.  Maybe it's just natural for everyone who has a family to fear losing them.  Maybe it is the incredible struggle we had to ever have kids (not saying that people who don't experience infertility don't fear losing their families...just that it brought up a bunch of theological questions for me and thus, my huge fear of losing my family).  Whatever it was, I am terrified that one day I'll lose my husband or one of my kids.

3. Mice.  Maybe this is more of a *shudder* type reaction than a fear reaction but either way it is STRONG!  I've never liked mice but my real "fear" of mice came when I was 18.  I'd moved out of the house (kinda) and was back at my parents' place for the summer between years of Bible school.  I was in my old bedroom but my bed had been sold because my parents were preparing for a move and knew I likely wouldn't need my twin bed anymore.  Thus, I was on a mattress on the floor.  Fine.  Enter: mouse coming through a hole in the wall 12 inches from my head.  While I'm sleeping on the floor.  I can see it faintly through the soft glow of my clock radio and it's coming closer and closer to my bed ON THE FLOOR.  I didn't know if I should move and try to get away - what if it freaks out and runs toward me instead of back into the wall??  Should I stay still and hope that it doesn't touch me?  I couldn't think of a good solution so I just lay there praying that it wouldn't take a flying leap onto my pillow (they can do that, you know).  Eventually I probably just threw something at it or turned on the light and it went back to it's home.  I remember trying to stuff a sock into the hole but that it managed to push the sock aside and come through one more time.  After that, I really jammed the sock in the hole good and spent the next few hours just laying there, not blinking and watching the hole.  I've hated mice with a passion ever since.  And feared their jump-attacks incredibly.

Getting to know...myself.

I'm always game for any self-insight activities...getting to know myself better.  Why I like what I like or feel the way I feel.  I wonder the same things about other people and my mind is always working to figure people out but since I can't just ask people questions about themselves any old time, I thought I would start with myself :)  I came across a list of questions on a blog and figured I'd steal them and do my own version of the question answering thing.  I'm also running out of things to blog about so if this is a total bust, I may very well just be done with blogging altogether!  We shall see...  Anyway, I plan to go through this list and just write.  About myself.  Some days I might answer one question.  Other days I might write a couple blog posts, depending on how motivated I'm feeling.  I'll then link those posts back to this one so you can easily see my answers to the questions without having to jump around my blog looking for them.  Here goes!

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

One Year Old

 Wow, that year went by quickly.  And yet it feels like Kayden has been here for a long time already.  I keep feeling like she's still my little baby because she has no teeth, she doesn't crawl/move yet, she still has her crib mattress at the highest setting because she hasn't pulled herself up yet, she's still nursing...but in other ways it just makes so much sense that she's one already!

 Kayden is still small for her age.  She had her 12 month immunizations this morning and she was 16lbs 13.5oz and 27.5" tall.  She is wearing 12 month clothes.  I've noticed this month that her legs have really been stretching out and looking more like toddler legs than baby legs.  She's really thinning out a lot in general. 

 Kayden doesn't have much hair but she had her first haircut this month.  Some hairs were scraggly-looking so I trimmed them all to roughly the same length.  Much better! 

Kayden doesn't have any teeth yet but she's definitely teething now.  Her sleep has been disrupted for the past week or so and we can see that her gums are swollen and the teeth are right there, though there's not even any white peeking through yet.  But they're coming!  Personally, I think her gummy grin is pretty cute.  And she can handle every type of finger food like a pro, despite having no teeth!

Speaking of food, Kayden has left pureed food in the dust and will only eat what we're eating.  Sometimes, if she hasn't eaten much during the day, I'll pull out some puree or baby cereal right before bed and she'll eat a few bites but mostly she just flat out refuses.  But it seems to be working!  She seems to be getting enough nutrition from what she feeds herself so I can't complain.  She is still nursing 3 times a day but we've also managed to get her to drink whole milk out of a sippy cup this month so I think weaning might be in our near future.  Her favourite foods seem to be noodles, frozen peas/corn, popcorn twists (what kid doesn't love those?!), raisins, and peanut butter sandwiches (cut into cubes). She doesn't like...I don't know!  I don't recall anything she flat-out refuses.

 Kayden's play has changed a bit this month.  The other day we were playing a  game where she would shake  her head "no" and then I would "gobble" her neck saying "yes! yes! yes!" and she would laugh and shake her head "no" again and we would do it over and over again.  That kind of play shows me that she's growing up :)  She has also discovered the fun of buttons this month.  If she sees a button, she has to find out what it does!  This newfound game has been a lot of fun for her just now as she's sitting next to me on the couch while I type this, pressing all the buttons on the left hand side of the keyboard.  Makes for tricky typing!  Her favourite "toys" are the pets (cats and dog), her brother, and anything that plays music or makes noise.

Kayden has been sleeping through the night for most of this month.  Just in the last week or so has she been waking up in the night again.  It started out with sickness (fevers, coughing, etc) so I couldn't NOT go in but I think she has gotten used to the midnight snuggles and is now waking in the night expecting them again.  Last night was the first night of being firm with her that night is for sleeping and, once 10:30pm came and went, she was good for the rest of the night.  She has started crying whenever I put her down for her naps which I hate.  It makes me so tense when babies cry themselves to sleep a couple times a day!  But she always falls asleep and never cries for long so I guess she is just old enough now that she wants to be in on the action instead of napping.  But she still needs the naps so I guess she'll have to live with it.  She naps twice a day, at 10am and 1:30pm, each 60-90 minutes.  She goes to bed around 8pm and wakes at about 7:30am.

 Right from the beginning of her life, I've joked that Kayden is such a girl in that she knows how to communicate.  Maybe that's why she's so content?  She doesn't feel unheard/misunderstood all the time?  This month, Kayden has mastered "yes" and "no" in the form of head shakes.  Well, she's mastered "no" for sure.  She will tell us when she doesn't want any more (shakes head) or if she does want more (reaches, opens mouth, etc).  It makes for MUCH easier parenting when our kids get to that stage of understanding that they can tell us what they want or don't want and don't have to cry about everything.  I'm so glad this girl has discovered it young! 

Kayden's greatest joy this month has been dancing and music.  When she sees me reaching for the little tape player that we have in the kitchen, her face lights up and she starts bouncing.  She hears music and her little body just bounces and dances!  It's so fun to watch her take such joy in music!  Yesterday, on her birthday, I would hold her and sing happy birthday to her while dancing with her in my arms.  I did this multiple times through the day.  At the beginning, she would just raise her arms so she wasn't holding on and "dance" with me by kicking her legs and doing little ab crunches/bouncing in my arms.  By the end of the day, it was a full out grin as we danced around the kitchen.  What a joyful one she is!

Kayden isn't moving yet.  She only mastered rolling at 11 month and only realized it could get her places in the last day or two.  Even so, she doesn't always remember that she can use rolling to go places so most often she just lays there.  She doesn't crawl/scoot at all either.  I always joke that it's nice to know where at least one of my kids is at all times...she's always exactly where I leave her!  And I can even leave her on a table/chair and she won't move.  Now, of course I don't leave her unattended in unsafe places, but I'm just saying...if I needed to run to grab something while I'm changing her diaper, chances are pretty good that she'll still be on the change table when I get back 10 seconds later.  :)

And that's our girl at a year!  What a beautiful, wonderful girl she is, inside and out!  It has been a joy to watch her grow this past year, from a tiny, sleeping-all-the-time newborn to a joyful, inquisitive, smiling one year old.

Pictures, anyone?

Levi loves to help vacuum.  I'm not complaining!

Enjoying the dog :)

Love these two and their special connection :)

Bath night! 

I love that just-woke-up look...

Sleeping girl...perfection.

She's learned the wrinkled nose look from the best...her brother.  She pulls it off pretty well and has made it her own too :)

There's the boy's version of the wrinkled nose smile :)

Cutie.

hehe.  This happens so much.

Marble maze made from lego.  Turned out to be more frustrating than fun...but I'll store this idea in my back pocket for another rainy day when Levi's a little older.  With a little more coordination, I think it could be a good time!

At long last...The House.

I've put this off long enough.  People have been wondering and asking about our house but I've kept thinking that I would take pictures once it was DONE.  After having lived here for two months now, it's becoming clear that it'll only really feel done once we have gone through every room and made it ours.  But that could take a while (hello, BUDGET!) so I finally just bit the bullet and took pictures this morning.  I didn't clean, I didn't set anything up.  This is how it looks in the middle of a day of playing!  Enjoy!

This is the front of the house (in summer, can't WAIT!).  The door on the right is the one we use.  The other door goes into the living room.

This is the first thing you see when you walk in the door. That's the door you see on the left...attached garage is to the left of that yet.  This window faces west.

On the right, where the jackets are hanging, is the rest of the entrance.  The door you see is into the garage.  Two steps up brings you into the house.  On the right is the desk you just saw.  On the left is the family room.

This is the family room.  Gas fireplace in the corner is the heat for this room.  That window is opposite the window above the desk and faces east (beautiful sunrises out there!!).

More of the family room.  The door you see at the back leads onto our deck.

Walk straight into the kitchen and this is what you see on your right.  The door at the back is the master bedroom (which I'll not share a picture of today...I'll wait until that one is done!)  The kids bedroom is just around the corner by the fridge, straight ahead.  The bathroom door is just to the left of that last cabinet on the left.

Walk to the fridge and turn around and this is the rest of the kitchen.  Bedroom doors are right behind me.  Family room is to the left.  The opening you see on the right is the dining room/living room.  The bathroom doorway is just to the right of that doorway.  This window faces south.

Living room is on the north west corner of the house.  The window faces west.  There is SUCH good light in this room during the day!

This is the dining room.  Excuse the mess on the table.  We were busy doing crafts this morning (Levi's favourite activity these days!).  Plus, he and Kayden were having lunch while I was taking pictures.  Also excuse the placement of pictures!  After we moved in, I just took random pictures and put them on pre-existing nails just to keep them safe and we haven't moved them yet.  The photo wall in the living room is the only place where we actually have put in our own nails!  This window faces south and the entrance to this room is just out of sight on the left hand edge of the picture (the exersaucer is right in front of the doorway).

The bathroom is huge.  I believe the previous owners took out the third bedroom and made both the master bedroom and bathroom bigger.  While the third bedroom would have been nice for us, I do enjoy having so much space in the bathroom!  And, we do have some plans up our sleeve for creating two more bedrooms in the hopefully near future...stay tuned!

This is the kids bedroom (remember, right off the kitchen by the fridge?).  We painted both this room and our bedroom before we moved in.  While we were at it, we painted the oak trim and doors white and replaced the hardware/plugs/lightswitches.  As we work our way through each room, we plan to paint trim and replace hardware/plugs/switches.  We're also on the lookout for good deals on light fixtures but no hurry.  The kids enjoy the fans :)  The spots on the wall are removable so it'll be easy to switch up the look in this room whenever the design bug hits.  The pictures are Dick and Jane photos of the siblings playing.  I thought it would be fitting for a shared bedroom.

And that's our house!  The basement has our guest bed, laundry and storage but is mostly unfinished/wood paneling and has no heat/windows so there's not much to show.  We might do minimal work to the basement but it'll likely just be painted and decorated a bit so that company doesn't feel like they're staying in quite a...BASEMENT.  I believe Nathan's brother has officially refused to ever sleep down there, though both of our parents and my sister have spent a few nights down there with no complaints.  Maybe they're just being nice...though apparently you can't hear the kids from down there so I'm thinking about booking myself a night down there for a little "getaway" one of these days.  Oh, the possibilities!

This house is situated on a 10 acre yardsite with ALOT of grass, some pasture, some old corrals, a shop (where we park our vehicles), and some trees.  It's beautiful out here and we LOVE being here.  We can't see any neighbours by day and at night we only see lights in the distance.  We're 12-15 minutes from town and on a quiet road so we don't even see vehicles going by every day.  I can't even describe how much like home it feels already.  I've loved our homes in the past but this place...it just has that staying quality.  I feel like I'm finally HOME.

Eleven Months Old

 Kayden is 11 months old!  Only one more month before her birthday.  Now THAT is hard to believe!  Where did my teeny tiny little newborn go??  It has been a fun 11 months :)

 Kayden remains the sweet, content, easy-going girl that she's always been.  I was reading back through my journal the other day and noticed that I described Kayden in her first week of life very much the same as I would describe her now.  Laid-back.  Easy-going.  Patient.  Only really making noise when something is quite wrong.  Ok, that one has changed a little, but she's still pretty quiet.  She "talks" a bit and cries occasionally when she doesn't want to sleep or when Levi is bugging her but mostly she is quiet and watching or playing.

 Kayden has been chewing on things but she doesn't really seem like she's teething yet.  She's not drooling excessively, acting uncomfortable, feverish...nothing.  Even her red cheeks seem to correspond to sickness and not teething.  Well, I guess she'll get teeth eventually :)  For now, I'll just enjoy not being bitten!  Those first teeth are RAZORS I tell you!

 Kayden not having teeth hasn't slowed down her food intake at all.  She has been downing TONS of  pureed baby food in between her meals of "real" food and breastmilk.  She eats pretty much everything we eat and gets frustrated if we don't share our food with her :)  She took her first bottle this month with very little coaxing.  She's also been drinking out of a straw cup a bit but not enough for me to feel good about weaning her completely.  We're working on it and I'm hoping that she will be completely weaned around her first birthday.

 Kayden weighs just over 17lbs and wears mostly 12 month clothes.  She is still on the smaller side for her age, but if I'm going to be carrying her around, it's probably for the better!  She is still not getting around on her own at all.  She can walk when we hold her hands and stand for a few seconds at a time on her own, but she isn't pulling herself up, isn't crawling, isn't even rolling as a means of transportation.  She is quite comfortable rolling over by herself now though!  I don't mind at all if Kayden is slower to start moving.  I'm enjoying the life of always knowing where at least one of my kids is!  She's always right where we leave her!

Kayden has learned to play peek-a-boo by herself this month!  It is so cute.  She'll grab a blanket or toy or, this morning, her shirt and lift it up to cover her face (or just over her head which doesn't cover her face but is cute nonetheless!) then put it down again.  "Where's Kayden??"  "OH! There she is!"  It's always good for a few laughs.  Kayden is learning new things to make us smile all the time.  If she notices that shaking her head "no" or patting something with her hand makes us smile, she will do it over and over.  That said, she doesn't really seem like an entertainer.  She's more of an explorer, doing things over and over to learn about the results more than to keep us laughing.

 It really feels like Kayden has turned into a snuggler this month.  I'm not sure if it's the Christmas festivities that have made her feel more snuggly or that she is just becoming more snuggly as she gets older but it always melts my heart when she lays her head on my shoulder or chest.  I'll take all the cuddles I can get!  She isn't a terribly shy girl, it doesn't seem, though there are times when she definitely prefers to be in my arms over anyone else's.  That said, if I leave the room, she can often be distracted with toys or animals and be fine without me.

 Kayden's favourite toys are still animals/dolls and if they are real life animals or babies, even better!  Her eyes just light up when she sees them and she squeals an excited "eee!"  Kayden has also discovered the fun of toys that make noise this month.  Buttons are so much fun.  She has also realized that any container with toys in it can be dumped so this has also become a favourite game.  Kayden seems to really enjoy music and starts to "dance" whenever a tune is playing.  Dancing, for her, consists of sitting down bounces...kinda like little ab crunches.  She'll just sit there bouncing.  It's pretty cute, but I'm biased :)

 Kayden's eyes are definitely not turning brown, that is 100% clear by now :)  But they are not staying a true dark blue either.  They still have blue around the edges but hazel is coming in from the middle now.  Depending on the day, they are either blue or grey or hazel.  Just like her daddy!  Her hair is still quite short but there are individual hairs that have survived from birth that stand straight up sometimes.  Her bald spot on the back is filling in nicely, though you can still see where it was.  Whenever I get anxious to start doing little girl hair, I just remind myself that once it starts growing, I'll have to do every day so I'll just enjoy this bald head as long as I have it!

 Kayden had her first Christmas this month.  With that came her first new years and her first night spent at "grandma and grandpa yellow puppy"'s house.  Other firsts?  Not sure.  It's been a fairly uneventful month as far as firsts go.  She pulls her toques off every time, that's a first!  Umm...yeah.  Moving on...

 It's hard to believe that this is the last month of Kayden's first year.  We'll be celebrating her first birthday before we know it.  It feels like we just celebrated Levi's first birthday and now it's hers already.  Time sure flies.  Cliche, yes.  But it's true.  We love our little Kayden Grace.  Happy 11 months, my girl!

Oh, and I almost forgot!  Sleep!  The issue that just keeps giving :) Actually, we've made some significant steps ahead in this department this month!  I was just so exhausted and at my wit send trying to get Kayden to sleep through the night. I had tried EVERYTHING and everything just seemed to make it worse. So finally I decided that, just for ONE night, I would not respond to her at all. I knew she wasn't hungry, no ear issues, not sick. And one night of no mama wouldn't kill her or scar her for life. Turned out she just cried 12 minutes the first time, 10 minutes the second time, and 90 minutes the third time. But she made it through!  And seeing how well she did, I decided to stick with it. A few days/weeks later and she's sleeping through the night more often than not!!!  We hear her wake up sometimes but she just puts herself back to sleep. You wouldn't believe how luxurious it feels to go to bed knowing that I might not have to get up until morning. It has been a long time coming :) Oh, sweet sleep how I've missed you...

Ten Months Old

Kayden Grace is 10 months old.  That feels dangerously close to the one year mark!  This little missie sure is growing up these days.  I feel like she has grown up a LOT this month.

I have no idea how big Kayden is.  Her legs are definitely stretching in preparation of the first steps which are just around the corner.  She probably weighs more than last month but she doesn't feel much bigger so who knows.  Last month she was about 16.5lbs so this month she's probably around 17lbs.  Our bathroom scale battery died this month so I have no way of checking where she's at :) She's officially grown out of anything smaller than 12 month sleepers, though 6-12 month shirts and even 6 month pants still fit.

Kayden's hair is slowly coming in, though she still has a pretty prominent bald spot at the back.  Kayden's eye-hand coordination is ever-improving.  She can easily grab even the smallest little pieces with thumb and forefinger and put them carefully into her mouth.  She choked on her first marble this month, thanks to this skill...though I'm sure if presented with the opportunity, she would have managed this earlier.  Yes, everything still goes in the mouth.  I'm sure she's teething by now but no teeth have made an appearance yet.  And all day long, she's still happy as a clam so if she is teething...best teether EVER!

Her playing has changed a bit this month. She's discovered the fun of peek-a-boo, pulling a blanket over her face to hide from us then moving it with a big smile as we say "peek!"  She bangs toys together on purpose now, just to hear the noise. As I watch her play, she seems more deliberate in her actions, as though every movement is an experiment to see what will happen as a result. She also seems to be finding her "silly" side as she sometimes will do something just to make us laugh. This is just starting though and has maybe happened once or twice that I've noticed. She has also discovered her toes this month and put her toes in her mouth for the first time this morning. Late, I know. I blame cloth diapers for reduced range of motion :)

Kayden's sleep patterns have not improved at all this month.  I moved her into our room (as mentioned in the last post here) but the results have been not as drastic as I'd hoped.  She has this terrible habit of waking up between 10-11pm every night and crying for 1-3 hours.  Nothing seems to be wrong except that we're not holding her.  If we pick her up, she is happy and calm but we put her down and there is screaming so intense that she starts gagging.  Seriously, girl.  Just sleep!  After that night-interruption, she usually sleeps in 2.5-3 hour increments before waking again for a feed.  She goes to bed between 7-7:30 and wakes for the day between 7:30-8:30am.

Kayden is a happy happy girl.  Well, "content" is maybe a better word.  We don't hear alot of giggles from her and even smiles are not a constant thing.  It's not hard to get her to smile if you're part of her family, but you'll most likely get a serious face if you're anyone else.  She is often a quiet observer, occasionally making a little noise or babbling a few words.  She definitely doesn't have any "words" yet.  No "dada" or "mama" or anything like that. She does have sounds like "aah!" and "ayaah!" that come out more regularly but it doesn't seem like she's trying to talk much yet. She loves animals, babies and faces/fuzziness in general.  She gets most excited when she sees animals (pictures or real life), babies (pictures or real life or dolls), or her brother playing and laughing excitedly.  When she gets excited, she flaps her arms like she wants to just fly over there and join in the fun.  Sometimes she almost tips herself over, she is flapping so wildly. 

Kayden's most notable changes have been in the physical realm this month.  She has become quite the steady stander, even just in the last week or two.  Her favourite is to hold onto our fingers and then steady herself and let go.  She can stand on her own in the middle of the room for seconds at a time!  It's incredible, really.  She's even tried to move her foot forward on a couple occasions but actual steps and walking are still a ways away, I think.  Though at this age it can happen so fast!  Kayden is not crawling yet, nor skooching, nor rolling so once she gets fed up enough with not being mobile, I think she'll just work on walking that much harder.  I wouldn't be surprised if she just skipped crawling altogether.  I say that she's not rolling but as of this morning, she has now rolled both ways (front to back and back to front) at least once.  :)  She mostly just lays down the way we put her though.  She can rotate in circles a bit when she's laying down or sitting up but even that doesn't happen alot.

Kayden loves to eat.  She often insists on eating what we're eating, even if I've already put a version of it on her high chair.  It sometimes just NEEDS to be out of our bowls.  She does incredibly well, considering she has no teeth.  She still nurses every 3 hours (day and night - sheesh), but is more and more ok with stretching that a bit.  Today she went 4.5 hours and was freaking out a bit and I couldn't figure out why - it's so unlike her!...until I realized that I hadn't fed her since before we left for town that morning and it was now 3pm.  In my defense, I did give her some lunch while we were eating but still.  Poor girl. I haven't been very careful with introducing one food at a time this time around.  Even starting with pureed foods and working up to different textures has been different from last time.  It went from a little bit of baby cereal straight to crackers and all sorts of things.  But I followed her lead and she's done great with it.  I think I'll go this route again if we ever have more kids.  It's much less work and stress than the way "they" say to do it!

Here is a picture of Kayden trying to stand on her own on the couch.  Notice both hands are off the couch?  She practices standing alone ALL the time.  She's getting pretty good at it :)  She seems quite willing to try new things over and over again until she gets it.  I try not to compare the kids, but Levi's personality seems much more hesitant to try things unless he knows he'll succeed on his first try.  Kayden seems to be much more willing to experiment and try things over and over again until they work, not phased at all by things not working the first time.  This is only one way that Kayden is different from her brother.  It has been interesting to see how these two are different.  Right from the beginning, they have been two totally different kids.  And they compliment each other so well.  I think they'll have fun growing up together :)




What a crazy and fun 10 months it has been.  You make being a mommy easy, Kayden. Even when you are awake and crying in the middle of the night, you give the best smiles and hugs.  We love you to pieces and look forward to another month with you!