full term

feeling big

feeling great

feeling patient

 but hoping, nonetheless, that baby decides to come sooner rather than later

40 weeks today

hehehe...

I am feeling quite svelte and elegant today.  

Ballet, anyone?

39w6d...only 8 hours til due date!

not yet...

Things I'm wondering today...
-  have anyone's feet ever exploded from being so swollen?
-  is it possible to never regain feeling in your fingertips after being pregnant? permanent nerve damage?
-  are we 100% sure that no woman in history has ever had pregnancy last forever?
-  is it possible to go from nothing to baby in 60 seconds flat?  How about 4 hours or less?
-  should I pretend I have unbounded energy and clean the entire house in hopes of tricking my body into thinking it's nesting?  possible new form of labour induction?
-  how do mothers make it when their babies are over-due 1, 2 or even 3 weeks???
-  how do you continue to distract yourself when you're too huge and uncomfortable to actually do anything?

Thankfully I have only had a few days in the last month when I've really felt desperate for this baby to be born due to discomfort.  Most days I am feeling great and, while I really really want to meet McBaby, I feel like, "what's one more day of waiting?"  Then days like today hit.  I wake up in the morning and am so disappointed that I'm still in my bed and not in the hospital.  I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and ease my weight onto my feet, hoping they don't pop from the pressure as I make my way slowly to the bathroom.  I shower and wonder at the level of numbness my feet and legs reach by the time I'm done.  I crawl back into bed and, vain as I am, crawl out a couple minutes later to do my hair before it dries, just in case we head into the hospital later that day.  Eventually I pick out some clothes for the day...not too tough considering my options are "what I wore yesterday" and "what I wore the day before."  I spend the rest of the morning sitting with my feet up, hoping the swelling goes down so that I can get my shoes on and walk to get the mail (a thinly veiled attempt at inducing labour).  Eventually I decide to venture out of the house and, thanks to the beautiful weather, it is very worth it.  Lunch when I get back home and pretty shortly after that I am ready for a nap.  After the afternoon nap, Lennox is anxious for a walk so, in another desperate indifferent attempt at helping labour along, I join Nathan and Lennox on a mile-long walk around town.  Supper comes next, then an evening of sitting with my feet up, trying to stay comfortable until it's time for bed.  Of course, days like this are littered with prayers for labour and amazement at how much Baby is still able to move in the ever-cramped quarters that used to be my six-pack (yeah right).  Other days I find that I have much more energy and fill my days with extra walks, laundry, cleaning, and baking/cooking.  But today...today is truly a "waiting" day in which I accomplish nothing more than crossing another day off the calendar and thus end up another day closer to meeting our child.  I keep trying to convince God that we've been waiting 4 years now for this baby and surely He could grant us a few less days to wait.  But at this point it seems that we've proven ourselves patient and may have a while to wait yet...

no introductions yet...

Did I get anyone excited yesterday when I didn't post?  Sorry.  Well, not really.  But there is no news yet.  I'm still pregnant as ever. 

Yesterday I was busy going for walks in the BEAUTIFUL weather, hoping to convince Baby to come out and enjoy the sunshine with me.  Needless to say, it didn't work.  But today is EVEN nicer (25 degrees ALREADY and it's only noon!) so I plan to walk a few miles again today and hopefully Baby will be enticed.  Really there's only so long that Baby can hang out in there before he/she needs to meet the real world...why not come on a beautiful day, right?  No need to wait until winter hits and hate life right away.  : )

Squirming

While Baby could certainly make his/her appearance any time now, I am enjoying the last few days of squirming that I have.  Being able to feel the baby moving around inside has been an amazing part of this pregnancy and it'll probably feel strange at first for my body to be so still.  But that said, I'm sure the squirming will be MUCH more sweet on the outside, not to mention everyone else being able to enjoy it as well!

I'm also enjoying the last few days of having been the only person to ever hold our baby.  For the last 9 months, nobody else has held him/her.  I have carried this person around 24/7 and in just a couple days I'll have to surrender this Baby to the arms of his/her father and anxious grandparents, uncles, aunts, and friends.  Oh, don't worry, I really am looking forward to you all meeting our little one and I'll try to be generous in dishing out cuddle time.  I'm just saying, I'm gonna be enjoying every minute I have to snuggle with and get to know our little son/daughter. 

If I had to choose three words that describe how I feel about the arrival of our first child, they would be:

overjoyed.

  humbled.

blessed.

And counting...

39 weeks

I am officially 39 weeks pregnant today and feeling pretty good.  Interestingly, I am enjoying being pregnant far more right now than I was even a couple weeks ago! (Is it possible to feel progressively more comfortable instead of less as time goes on?!) Around 36-37 weeks I was just ready to be DONE.  Today I am feeling quite good and, though anxious to meet this little one who pummels my insides 24/7, surprisingly patient.  That said, feel free to come any time you want to, Baby.  I'm not holding out for my due date if you want to come early!

Houses.

I like houses.  Don't you?  They're so nice and cozy.  Homey, I guess you could say.  But some houses are definitely better than others.

Back in high school, I used to love sketching out floor plans for houses on my very own pad of graph paper.  After many hours, I'm sure, I came up with my "ideal" floor plan...my dream house.  I doubt we'll ever actually be able to build it, or be able to afford to live in it if we ever did build it, but it sure does look perfect to me, even years later.  And no, that is not a sketch of my dream home to the right...think large and colonial.

Realizing that I'll probably always have to make some sacrifices when it comes to the houses that we live in, there are some things that I'm finding are more important than others when it comes to houses.  Here are just a few:

-  no bathrooms directly off the kitchen.  Around the corner?  Sure.  But not RIGHT THERE when I'm trying to cook.  Ick.

-  at least two bathrooms.  I never thought I would be someone who would need two bathrooms but, even with it just being two of us (for now), two bathrooms would be lovely!  LOVELY!!!  And after countless night-time trips to the loo throughout this pregnancy, an en suite would be wonderful as well.

-  storage space/vanity/good lighting in the bathroom.  I don't need to have a huge bathroom, but I do at least need to have some sort of cupboard under the sink or closet to store things.  You know those things that just accumulate the longer you live in one spot (hotel shampoos, lotions, etc)?  I'm not a fan of storing them on the other end of the house.  Oh, and a few towels in the bathroom would be nice.

-  a decent sized kitchen.  For someone who spends a fair amount of time in the kitchen most days, it would be nice to have a functional space.

-  Master bedroom with enough space for bed, dresser/wardrobe, and perhaps a chair as well.

-  Usable finished basement, preferably only half deep (as with a split-level home) so there are full-sized windows and less chance of flooding.

And then of course there are other things that would be nice but I'll probably have to wait a while for:

-  fireplace/library/music room

-  theatre room

-  LARGE kitchen

-  family room AND living room

-  ensuite with soaking tub and double sinks

-  walk-in closet in master bedroom

-  walk-in pantry in kitchen

That said, the thing about houses that makes them homes isn't the number of bathrooms or the size of the kitchen.  (ready for some cheese?)  It's the people who live there.  As long as I have space and time with the people I love, I can deal with the one and only bathroom being directly off the kitchen, an unusable basement, a tiny kitchen, a minuscule master bedroom, no insulation in the walls, a broken toilet seat, leaky water pipes... ... ...

If you could choose any one thing to add to your existing home (or have in your next home) what would it be and why?

more from second street...

I just realized the other day that we're living on a Second Street again!  While I couldn't very well go back to my old blog, Thoughts from Second Street, I did find it fascinating that, with a one year exception, we've spent most of our married life living on Second Streets!  Maybe it's just me...maybe I find dumb things fascinating...

any time now...

I wonder if I could lure little baby McCorkindale out with a promise of chocolate?  Of course, the chocolate would have to be ingested by me first, but I really think I could make a sacrifice like that to meet the little one early...

(38w5d - only 8 more days to go...ish...)

Diaper bags...

Ok, people.  What do I need to know about diaper bags?  Here are the things to consider:
-  I am cloth diapering, so I guess there needs to be a bit of extra room for both clean and dirty diapers
-  I am 4'10" so HUGE is out of the question.  I need to be able to carry both the baby and the bag.
-  We're students with zero income, so budget is definitely a factor.
-  My goings out will be mostly for shopping for a few hours in the city weekly or bi-weekly, church, and visits with friends/family in the area.

Will a plain old backpack work sufficiently, or should I be looking for a bag specifically made for being a diaper bag?  Is it really handy to have insulated pockets for bottles or can you do without them?  Anything you love/hate about your diaper bag?  I really have no clue what I'm looking for, except that it needs to be something that Nathan won't refuse to carry around. : )  Help?

Oh, buddy...

Sometimes Lennox loves his toys a little too much...

"Red" had his stuffing loved out of him this morning while I was in the shower...

still aROUND...

Today marks two weeks until due date.  Honestly, I wondered if this day would ever come.  At first it was the fear of something happening, of not deserving this blessing and feeling like it would be taken before it's time.  And then, as we passed each month's mark, I slipped into feeling like this was the perpetual pregnancy...as in the one that would last forever.  I knew that other people's pregnancies ended in babies, but it felt for much of the spring/summer like we would never actually meet this little person, but that I would just get bigger and bigger and stay pregnant forever.  And then we hit August sometime and it seemed to become real.  I was pregnant, things were going well, and, Lord-willing, we would be parents in just a few short weeks.  And now we're just days away.

When we hit September on the calendar, I seriously felt like this baby would come early.  Despite my mom and grandma both being over-due with all of their babies, I felt like this one would be different.  Now that we are two weeks into September and feeling no closer to labour and delivery, I'm starting to feel like I may carry the over-due trait.  Oh well.  This baby will come when he/she is good and ready.  (though any tips on what worked to "induce" your labour would indeed be welcome!)

So, since I'm sitting at home these days, basically just waiting for things to get going, there doesn't feel like there's much to share.  I could come and write on my blog every day that things still haven't happened, but then I might miss a day and oh boy would I have you all excited!  Hmm...might be worth it... 

Some of these days I have more energy than others so I use it for baking or cooking something (usually for the freezer) or for cleaning the house.  And then other days I have less energy so I spend most of the day reading or randomly looking things up online or blog-stalking.  But overall, most of my days look basically the same.  I'm just trying to enjoy the last of these "uneventful" days before we get into a new routine of feeding and changing and playing and napping and...rocking.

Two days ago was a bit of a different day.  My mom and dad and grandma came out to visit for my birthday!  They brought lunch and we ate together and then visited and played some Skip-bo and had tea.  It was a lovely change of pace.  After they left for home, Nathan and I decided to go to the city and we did a little bit of this and that and had supper out so that I wouldn't have to cook or do dishes on my birthday.  It was a great first day of my 26th year.  : )

And today I did something out of the ordinary, too!  I painted my toe nails.  It's not that I have too much trouble reaching my toes thanks to my lovely short legs, but to get the angle of the brush right and to try to accomplish "staying in the lines" when your hands and feet are going numb and falling asleep...well, it's not an easy task.  But my toes are done, my legs are shaved, and I'm ready to go.  Let's just hope that I don't have to do this again before d-day.

So I guess life has been exciting lately.  Hm.  What do you know?  I do do more than just sit around all the time...

360 degrees.

I usually don't see myself these days from, well, any angle (except top down as in, from my eyes down to my belly).  And when I don't look in the mirror, I don't really feel that big.  But then I take a picture or walk by a full-length mirror and I am shocked by how big I look!  Wow.  So today I decided to see my 37w5d body from all four sides and I'd say I look pretty good, if I do say so myself. : )

Of course, Lennox had to get in on the pics.  Those eyes of his in the last picture are just pleading me to play with him.  If he didn't insist on my coming down onto the floor to play with him, he would probably be in for more of a treat.  Unfortunately, my trips to the floor these days are carefully thought through and completely necessary when they happen.  There's nothing like sitting down on the floor and then wondering how I'm ever going to get back up again...  LOVE IT!

Diapers of many colors...

A few months ago, I sent out a request for diapering advice.  After much research, both talking to friends and looking online, I made a decision on how we are going to diaper our child.  Cloth.  While it is more work to clean the diapers instead of just throwing them away, I considered the fact that we have laundry facilities available 24/7 in our house and that it would be more convenient, upon running low on diapers, to do a load of laundry rather than having to run into the city for more disposables.  Cost was also a factor in deciding to use cloth.  While the initial investment is more and the laundry costs add up as well, in the end these diapers will last us for as many children as we may need to diaper.  I'll probably add to my stash eventually and replace the diapers if they wear out, but this stash could potentially last me through our diapering days.  I'd say that is definitely less expensive!

Once I'd decided on cloth diapers, it was only a matter of finding the right ones.  The two biggest factors I was looking for in my cloth diapers were convenience and quality.  Cost only became a factor once I'd decided on the specific diapers I was going to order.  (If I'm already saving money with using cloth, I figured we could afford to get exactly the diapers I wanted.)  Two friends who I talked to right away were both using bumGenius and the one who was already using them was very happy with hers.  Once I started reading reviews on various brands, it became clear that bumGenius was a good option in terms of both convenience and quality.  I looked through the different bumGenius options (all-in-ones with varying sizes; one-size pocket; one-size all-in-ones).  I decided to go with the bumGenius Organic One-Size All-in-One diaper. 

Why?  Like I said, cost wasn't a huge factor - though I did scour the web and local stores for the best price available on these particular diapers once I'd decided on them - and these were some of the more expensive diapers I found at around $25-29 per diaper (I got mine for $25ea).  The reason I chose these was for convenience (they are all one piece so no separate soakers or covers to re-assemble each laundry day) and quality (snaps will hopefully last longer than the velcro option).  I ordered 18 diapers, 2-3 in each of the available colours - light green, dark green, light yellow, dark yellow, light blue, dark blue, pink and white.  Seeing all the colours makes me so excited to see that little cloth-diapered bum in just a couple weeks!  I did end up ordering one token pink diaper, just in case we have a girl.  But if we have a little man, he will learn at an early age that pink is not only for the ladies.  He will definitely be sporting a pink diaper every day or two!

With 18 diapers in my stash, they say that I will be able to get into a routine of doing a load of diapers every 2 days.  Obviously this will be after the first few weeks when there are fewer daily diaper changes.  I am planning on starting with disposables at first and using them until:
a) the umbilical cord falls off and we don't need to worry about diapering around it.
b) Baby is bigger and the diaper is a good fit.
c) we go through slightly fewer diapers every day so that I'm not running out of diapers on a daily basis.

And that's about it.  Obviously, without ever having diapered a baby with these particular diapers, I have no idea whether they'll really be as good as they seem, but hopefully I'll be able to let you know in just a few short weeks!  Due date is two and a half weeks away (or 18 days)!!!  Bring on the diaper changes! (oh, how I'm going to wish that never came out of my mouth...) 

p.s-I haven't been able to wear my wedding ring in a few weeks because my hands are so swollen.  This swelling does go down after the birth, right?  Has anyone had to re-size their rings after giving birth because their hands didn't go back to their pre-baby size?

Don't forget to click HERE to put in your baby guess!

Clarification

I had a question on my last post so I thought I would address it here, in case anyone else was wondering about this particular part of the post as well.


Question: "I do wonder what your intentions were when you put such words as; smart, green and nutritious in quotation marks?...Are you mocking such foods as Wonder Bread Invisibles (which, by the way is complete marketing)? Or are you suggesting that you will not be feeding your child smart or green foods?"

Clarification:  Honestly, I had no intentions when I put those three words in quotation marks.  I suppose though, on second thought, that by doing that I was giving a jab to the marketing companies who understand that parents want to feed their children nutritiously and, therefore, stick a label on any product that even comes close to qualifying as "healthy", whether or not it has changed at all or become more nutritious in the last 25 years.  I meant nothing more and certainly agree with feeding our children the most healthy food available, with some treat-like exceptions of course.  Like Kool-Aid. : )

Mmm...Kool-Aid...

I love Kool-Aid.

Well...I like Kool-Aid but I love slushies made from Kool-Aid.

Today it seemed unlikely that there would be any more slushy-worthy days yet this fall.  Rainy.  Cold.

Time for Kool-Aid, the drink.

As I was pouring the Kool-Aid crystals into the water - the best part of making Kool-Aid, by the way, if you do it slowly and watch each individual crystal dissolve - I noticed that the package boasts about being both caffeine-free AND a source of vitamin C.  Do you see it?

I must say, I'm skeptical.  I believe the caffeine-free claim.  Why would Kool-Aid ever have caffeine?

But vitamin C?  Is this drink not made up of solely sugar and food colouring? 

Obviously Kool-Aid sales are suffering from the latest resurgence of nutrition-conscious moms who only feed their kids the most "smart" "green" and "nutritious" foods available.  This must be some sort of marketing gimmick on Kool-Aid's part, right?

Will I buy Kool-Aid for our kids?  Who knows.  I firmly believe in treats like sugared cereal and pop, in moderation of course. 

If I do buy Kool-Aid, though , it won't be due to the promise of vitamin C, I can assure you.  I'll probably head to real fruit juices for that...

Just thought I'd share this interesting moment from my day.  At least now, if I ever need a way to justify the yummy sugary-ness of Kool-Aid, I have vitamin C on my side...

rain

On days like this...

I like to do things like this...

And I feel quite productive and pleased when I make things like this...

(padded camcorder cover to protect it while it's in my purse)

And this:

(Crib Skirt)

I'd say it's been a pretty good rainy day in the McCorkindale house today.  Unfortunately Nathan has to do this...

(but even he was pleased with the productive-ness of his day!)

full circle...

Seven years ago, I was pulling onto the Bethany campus for the very first time.  The back seat and trunk of the car were packed full of the only things that would be familiar to me the next morning when I woke up.  Clothes, bedding, school supplies, computer, books...my little brother was back there too, somewhere, but he was part of the empty car returning home without me.  Meanwhile, I was "nestled" in the front seat of the car between my mom and dad in what was my favourite place throughout childhood: front in the middle.  (What an odd way to start my college life...reverting back to childhood for a 4 hour drive between my parents)

When I started at Bethany, I had never seen the campus before and I knew no one.  How did I choose Bethany if I knew so little about it?  Well, I started my search with a list of Bible schools from across Canada and the US.  When I'd started looking for Bible schools (after deciding not to attend university in January of my grade 12 year), I was not someone who wanted to play it safe and stay close to home.  Translation?  The further from home the better.  I was convinced that I was NOT staying in Saskatchewan after grad, and for sure not moving to Saskatoon.  After all, that's where far too many grads from my hometown end up.  Well, I learned to never say never.  In the end, I applied to two Bible colleges, both of which sounded exactly the same to me and both of which were in Saskatchewan: Millar and Bethany.  I had no idea which one to choose, so I decided that I would attend the first one to get back to me with an acceptance letter.  Bethany won.

Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous on that first day at school.  It was my first time living away from home, my first time moving somewhere where I knew absolutely no one.  But I saw it as a big adventure and I embraced it!  I didn't feel shy or afraid of being alone.  The first evening, I had 5 or 6 other girls in my room and we became quick friends.  My first trip home from school was for Christmas break and then not again until the end of second semester.  I loved my new life of independence (though for the first time I had a curfew, which I thought was quite strange for this stage of life...).

Today many nervous, excited freshmen are moving out of their parents' houses for the first time and have no idea what to expect here at Bethany.  There is a steady stream of vehicles pulling onto campus, parents unloading their beloved children, and empty vehicles leaving.  There is an excited buzz around campus today and I can't help but remember my first day here.  I never would have guessed that years later I would be married and living on campus again, getting ready to raise my first child here.  Life sure can be unpredictable.  I wouldn't even have guessed a year ago that this is where we would be now!  Makes me wonder where we'll be in another 7 years...

the overview

Life has changed alot for us since finding out that we were expecting and there have been a few distinct stages within this pregnancy.  I thought it might be interesting to look back through the last 8 months and see where I've been...

Month 1 (approx. weeks 1-5)
-  didn't know we were pregnant yet.  Did you know that weeks of pregnancy actually start counting up before you even get pregnant?  I didn't either until I confused myself silly trying to figure out my due date.  By the time there is actually something growing in there, you are technically already 2 weeks pregnant!

Month 2 (approx. weeks 6-10)
-  halfway through this month is when we found out we were expecting.  We only found out around 7 weeks and didn't even think that we might be pregnant until then.  Too many "late" months with hopes dashed.
-  the second half of the second month was spent in shock, floating on a cloud, and with lots of apprehension and fear of letting myself get too excited.  It just didn't feel real yet...too good to be true.  I also spent lots of time looking for doctors and insurance.
-  we shared the exciting news with our parents at the end of the second month (week 10).  We also had our first ultrasound at 10w2d and seeing that little beating heart made the pregnancy feel more real than ever.

Month 3 (approx. weeks 11-14)
-  We shared the exciting news with our siblings near the end of the 11th week.  Mostly, though, baby is still our little secret!
-  Not sure what is normal and what isn't...still a bit of fear due to over-thinking every little pain and change.  Praying desperately for safety and health of baby...not entirely convinced that we actually deserve this blessing and afraid that it will be taken away.
-  Threatened miscarriage had us spend most of a night sitting in emergency at the beginning of week 12.  I spent the rest of month 3 on the couch or in bed (bed-rest).  Not allowed to walk anywhere but bed to couch to bathroom and back, Nathan had a busy couple weeks trying to keep on top of classes, homework, and all the housework too.  We hadn't shared that we were expecting with the world, yet, so the world (especially around campus) wondered where Niki was.  Two weeks of bed-rest proved to be enough, and at the end of week 14, I was given the all-clear to be up and about once again.

Month 4 (approx. weeks 15-19)
-  second trimester started with more "symptoms" than the first.  Nausea, though less often, was more threatening when it came.  Also got debilitating headaches.
-  We shared our news with the world this month on a deliberately chosen day - April 1.  It was nice to tell people our news, but also a bit overwhelming to know that it was out there and that it would be so much harder if anything did happen to baby.
-  belly growth really starts taking off at this point
-  after much discussion, we decide that this will be our last semester in California and start making plans to be in Canada next fall for the birth of the baby...Nathan will finish school from there
-  Still struggling to trust that everything will continue to go smoothly with the pregnancy, but relieved to be past the most critical first trimester
-  feel first baby movements (unmistakable) at 17 weeks.

Month 5 (approx. weeks 20-23)
-  sleep starts to become less comfortable.
-  energy level at almost constant "0"
-  move to Canada...LONG car trip at 20 weeks - never want to do that again!
-  month went quite quickly as we spent it moving to Canada, visiting with family, and spending a week in Manitoba with friends (while Nathan worked on a class)

Month 6 (approx. weeks 24-27)
-  baby is moving TONS by now
-  belly is stretching lots
-  sleep past 5am is difficult as there is much hip pain (lasting from month 4 through month 6)
-  looking forward to having a place of our own so I can start putting all my nursery ideas into play!
-  bought nursery furniture...start receiving baby things from friends and family

Month 7 (approx. weeks 28-31)
-  belly growth FINALLY slows down a bit after growing an average of one inch per week since month 4
-  move into our new place and let the "nesting" truly begin...though I hear that true nesting comes right before the birth and is done with unexplainable energy.  My unpacking and organizing was done out of necessity and without mounds of energy.
-  Weight has caught up with my frame and my feet threaten to do me in after a full day of unpacking 

Month 8 (approx. weeks 32-36)
-  Early month 8 is when I crossed the line between "glowing, comfortable pregnancy" and "sore, huge, uncomfortable pregnancy"...still enjoying life and baby movement and many things that go with it, but also feeling more uncomfortable than ever.
-  night time bathroom run count grows from 2-3 to 5-10 (once every hour or two)...this is not an exaggeration.  A couple nights ago I was up at 20 after each hour all through the night, and possible one or two additional times in between.  The next night I had a two hour stretch and I felt unbelievably rested!  Preparation for what's to come...
-  baby has outgrown my belly and is moving into my ribs/lungs.  I'm not complaining.  I'm merely letting you know that I will appreciate full breaths and unpainful ribs so much more after this pregnancy!
-  it starts to hit me that this birth is imminent...indeed it could happen at any time!  Throughout pregnancy so far, my mind has wrapped itself around being pregnant but somehow missed the memo about the pregnancy actually ending in a real, live son or daughter who will be part of our lives forever.  This reality hits home this month too (with much joy and excitement, of course).
-  the end of month 8 has also brought swelling...swollen hands (no more wedding ring), swollen legs, swollen feet, swollen ankles.  I find it quite funny sometimes, though it is uncomfortable so I'm glad I lasted until now before blowing up like the michelin man!

Month 9 (approx. weeks 37-40)
-  Seeing as I'm just entering this last month now, I don't really know what it will hold.  I imagine I will go back and forth between excitement and nervousness about labour and delivery.  It will probably be the least comfortable of all the months (thanks to very VERY mild morning sickness).  I will probably get progressively less and less sleep, as well as less and less definition between my feet and my calves (cankles, anyone?)