Life - a picture post

 Here's a little of what we've been up to these past 3 weeks (in no particular order)...

My Mom was out for almost a week to help out.  Thanks Mom!

Sleeping Kayden...we prayed for a good sleeper for 9 months and low and behold, our prayers have been answered!  That said, sleeping at NIGHT is hit or miss...

Levi took his first photos of Kayden...not bad!

More sleeping Kayden...she's chubbing up!  This was taken yesterday.

This was during our first week at home.  Levi LOVES his sister!

Sweet little baby hands...

Me and my girl :)

Family time...

Me and my almost two and a half year old!  Love this boy!

My sister (Auntie Ia) came for a week to help out after my mom was here.  Thanks Ia! (Kayden is all bundled in a beautiful bunting bag that my sister designed and made for her)

First week at home.

First week at home.

First week at home...love these two SO much!

Blanket that I made for Kayden before she was born

haha!

Life is going good.  Kayden is 3 weeks old today and it was my first day at home alone with both kids.  It went really really well.  Levi was amazing and I had such a good day with the kids.  That said, now it's 8:51pm and I'm tired.  I'll admit, the thought of being up multiple times tonight and then looking alive in the morning to have fun with my two year old all day (over and over and over again until little miss starts sleeping through the night) is feeling a little daunting.  Feel free to pray for energy for me so that I can enjoy these days to their fullest!  Levi and Kayden are such blessings...I want to give them my very best and when I'm tired, that's not usually what comes to the surface!

Introducing...

Kayden Grace

February 4, 2013

2:11pm

6lbs 7oz, 19 3/4"

So?  Who guessed everything correctly on the poll? :D

Kayden's birth was quite a bit different from Levi's.  With Levi, we waited and waited and waited.  He was late and born at 41w2d.  Kayden was a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks.  While I was uncomfortable for the last trimester this time, I never did get that truly FULL feeling that I got when we were waiting for Levi.  (Apparently 2 lbs and 2" of baby makes a big difference on the inside!)  And with Levi, we were guessing the gender right to the end, whereas this time we've known about our little GIRL since September.  Both experiences were good...I'd probably choose to repeat this most recent experience next time, though, if given the choice!


I wasn't sure how going in for a scheduled section would be.  It's kinda weird knowing exactly what day and time to expect your little one to arrive.  There was some excitement last time in wondering day by day if I would have a baby that day (then extremely discouraging when I never did go into labour on my own).  On the morning of Feb 4, we had a regular morning, packed up the last of our things, and headed off to the city.  We only had to be at the hospital at 11:30 so there was no rush.  We met Nathan's parents in the city, had a relaxed coffee with them at Starbucks, said "see ya later!" to Levi and drove to the hospital. 

In the first waiting room, there were half a dozen pregnant women waiting (in a 200 square foot closet of a waiting room).  At one point everyone was sharing how far along they were.  40 weeks...41 weeks...44 weeks...  Most of the women there were waiting for inductions!  I didn't dare open my mouth and say that I was still at a comfy 38 weeks and would likely be holding my baby before any of them!  We were quickly moved to another waiting room where we ended up waiting for an hour with no contact with anyone and no one else in the room with us.  We felt quite forgotten.  After an hour, I was starting to wonder if we'd been forgotten.  Why, afterall, would they have us come in 2 hours before the scheduled c-section time if we were going to spend over an hour just sitting and waiting?  I went and found a nurse and within 15 minutes, we were in the pre-op room in gown/scrubs and being prepped for surgery.

Around 1:30 I was taken to the OR and given a spinal then prepped for surgery.  It all went pretty fast from there.  The anesthesiologist gave my doctor the ok to start and Nathan was brought in.  Within minutes, Kayden was here!  She spent the first 5 minutes SCREAMING!  She has the most high-pitched shrill scream I've ever heard.  Well, not quite, but it really is quite different from Levi's cry!  I was able to have her on my chest in the OR as the doctor finished up and was able to feed her in recovery within about an hour.  What a blessing.  I feel like it went so much more smoothly than it did with Levi.  Scheduled c-sections are much easier on the body than last minute c-sections after 12 hours of labour.  Just saying...

We were able to come home on day 2 after surgery, exactly 48 hours after her birth I was walking in the front door at home.  SO NICE that they let us come home earlier this time!  Nursing has gone smoothly.  Healing has gone smoothly.  I'm almost back to my pre-pregnancy self.  Except, of course, for some tenderness in certain places and having a newborn around the house again.  Everything has come back as far as what to do with a newborn (whew!).  The transition has been nothing but smooth.  Nathan was home for the first week and now my mom will be here for a few days, followed by my sister.  Levi is loving all the extra play-time!  And I'm appreciating being able to take it easy and have afternoon naps.  Every little bit helps with the healing and adjusting process!

Levi has adjusted to being a big brother wonderfully.  He was a bit unsure at first and didn't want to touch her, but within a couple days at home he was wanting to hold her and go get diapers for me and lay on the floor beside her.  He has been so good...

And that's my story!  I figured I should probably let my blogging friends know that she's arrived and all is well before people start wondering.  Oh, and I'll also let you know that she is the most content baby.  She sleeps SO much more than Levi did and is quite quiet, though she's starting to find her voice again after a few nearly silent days in the first week.  Aside from the first night at home, she has been up 2-3 times at night to eat which hardly feels like an adjustment from what I was doing with Levi a mere 3 months ago...not that he was eating, but disrupting my sleep just the same!  But it is all worth it.  I look at my kids and husband every day and thank God for my beautiful family.  I feel blessed beyond what I could ever imagine :)

Belly pics - 37w

There must be something about being 37 weeks pregnant that makes me want to see myself from all angles. Weird, I know. I was curious so I took pics all around just now and then checked back to see when I did the same thing last pregnancy and it was right at the same time!  I'd say I look different from the back (wider than when not pregnant) but not bad.  Front...well, I look big.  Side? Yeah. Definitely preggers. I feel big.  And less comfortable than my last pregnancy when I took THESE. The baby must be sitting right on my sciatic nerve or something cause man oh man, I've had to wonder if my hip is still in joint countless times since last July. But hey...I am super pumped to be carrying baby #2 and very very thankful that the pregnancy has been basically free of complications.  Praise the Lord!  Neither of these things is something I take for granted!  Now we're just praying for a safe delivery and healthy baby...countdown is on!

January 27's past...

Every once in a while I like to open my journal or blog and find entries that were written on this day in previous years.  Because it would be difficult to copy all the pictures from previous posts into this one, I'll just have to give you the links and let you read them from their original locations.  I can assure you, they really are a fun trip down memory lane!  Let's start at the beginning:

January 27, 2009 (the year we moved to Cali...knowing this will make the post much funnier.  I don't think we knew that we were moving yet at this point though...)

January 27, 2010 (pictures from our trip to San Francisco with my sister and her visit in Cali)

January 27, 2011 (picture post from Levi's fourth month)

Apparently I've only written on January 27 three times since I started blogging (or four if you count this post).  Huh.  Has anyone been reading from the beginning?  Anyone remember those first posts when I was back at Thoughts From Second Street? Now THAT was a while ago!  A lifetime ago, it feels like...

ENJOY!

last few weeks

I'm going to be honest today (not that I'm usually dishonest) and say that today was a hard day.  I'm finding that I have quite a bit less energy than usual and, when dealing with my energetic, cabin-feverish 2 year old, less patience.  Levi really is quite a joy and an easy-going kid as far as 2 year olds go.  But boy-oh-boy this mama is tired!  On days like today, just one more "mama, come PLAY?" makes me want to crawl into a hole (preferrably a hole under the covers on my bed) and nap the rest of this pregnancy away.  I love being pregnant.  I really do.  The first two trimesters went by swimmingly and I'm convinced they flew by so fast because half the time I felt so good that I forgot that I was even pregnant.  The third trimester has had pain and soreness to make up for the first 6 months, though, and has left me quite ready to be done.  And I love my boy.  But wowzers...how far can a mama push herself? :)

So first off, I'm asking that if/when you think of us and the coming addition to our family, please pray for energy and patience for me in these last few weeks.  And secondly, if anyone has any ideas for relieving cabin-fever and burning a boy's energy while saving mama's sanity, throw them my way.  I'm all ears! I want to enjoy as much time as I can with just Levi at home with me before there are TWO kids to split my attention between. (so excited!) There isn't too much longer before baby's arrival and not all days are as tiring as today, but it was day #4 of Levi not being out of the house (such a cold week and so much work to bundle us up with a basketball strapped to my tummy!) and I think it has been taking its toll...add hormones into the mix and that was my day.  haha.  Nice.

Forgetfulness

When I had Levi, I felt like I would never forget the details of life.  The details of having a newborn.  And here I am, two years later, and I've forgotten.  Or I'm realizing things that I never knew but am curious about.  So if you want to share your thoughts/experiences, please do!  I'm all ears!  Sorry, this post will be completely irrelevant for some, but I didn't want to put this on fb for whatever reason so here it is.

- Lack of sleep aside, does energy generally come back shortly after birth or will I be just exhausted for the next few months yet?  What was your experience? 

- What did you wear during your stay in the hospital.  Any suggestions, recommendations, or warnings?

- What did your baby wear in the hospital?  Did you use hospital-issued baby gowns and blankets (or towels as the case may be at my hospital)?  Or did you bring your own?  Pros/cons of each?

- What did you do with your hair while in the hospital before they let you shower?  Last time I felt like quite the greasy un-human when I wasn't allowed to shower from Thursday morning until Sunday morning...

- Any suggestions for having the older sibling come to visit in the hospital?

- Did you splurge for the private room, go with semi-private, or stay with 3-4 other women in a shared room?  Thoughts?

- Any other thoughts surrounding birth, the stay in the hospital, or the following few weeks?  I'd love to hear your experiences or what jumps to mind when you think of your birth experience(s)!

Details...

I just thought I'd share some details that might make guessing easier for some of you...

- baby's heartrate has been very much the same as Levi's was in utero...maybe a bit lower
- Despite thinking I was smaller this time, I compared size by week counting from conception and I've actually been almost exactly the same size, just weighing a bit less this time
- morning sickness has been comparable, a bit better this time (neither bad at all)
- Levi was 8lbs 2oz
- Levi was 9 days late and induced
- feel like I'm carrying about the same but pictures may show otherwise (??)
- Nathan and I were both in the 6lb range at birth
- I was 18 days overdue, not sure if Nathan was overdue or on time or early...

It's beginning to look alot like baby...

I mentioned in my last post that we put up the crib the other day.  I thought I'd share some pictures from that because hey...what's more adorable than a boy helping his daddy?

It's especially adorable when it's YOUR boy and the daddy is YOUR husband :)

Also, don't forget to leave your baby guesses here on the blog (boy/girl, size, date)!  I've made a handy-dandy poll so it's easy to vote, but if you're SURE that you'll be right, leave your guess in the comments (I've made it so that anyone can vote, even without signing in) so you get due credit for your prediction :D

belly pic...8 months.

Only one month to go til due date!  So excited to meet this little rib-kicker.  We put up the crib in Levi's room yesterday.  Yes, we still have plenty of time but we wanted Levi to get used to seeing some baby stuff around the house before this little one just moves in and takes over all of his territory.  We talk about the baby alot with him and I think he understands about as much as a 2 year old can.  He could tell you that:
- there is a baby in mommy's tummy
- mommy's tummy is going to be owie after baby comes out
- baby is going to sleep in mommy and daddy's room and also in Levi's room
- mommy is going to feed baby (no hot dogs and noodles for the baby)
- Levi will get to sit on mommy's lap again when baby comes (when mommy's tummy isn't owie anymore)
- little brother or sister
 We've also done some shopping for things that we know we'll need like diapers (newborn size, for before cloth fit), wipes, infant Tylenol, etc.  It's made it all feel so much closer to see baby stuff re-entering the house.  Since Levi was potty trained back in summer, we really haven't had much evidence of a baby living here.  There is PLENTY of evidence of a toddler (toys, books, shoes, pots/pans all over the floor, potty seat in bathroom) but that is very different than a baby!  I'm starting to second-guess how much I actually remember about newborns.  I'm sure I know about as much as I knew when we had Levi and maybe even a little more this time around so we should be fine.

Since we're getting so close, anyone care to guess baby gender, birth date, and baby size?  Feel free to leave your comments!  I'm curious what people are expecting us to have! (I've also created a poll on the right hand side of the screen so you can easily log your guess, though it is anonymous so if you want credit for being right, leave your guess in comments too)

Excitement

I just have to share the latest excitement in our lives...perhaps it's not blog-worthy, but here it is:

Levi has slept through the past 5 nights!! 

He hasn't done that in...ever.  Ok, maybe he has, but I really doubt it.  And it certainly hasn't been since I started keeping track of his sleep habits in August (hoping to find some clue as to why he's not sleeping).  So we're celebrating here.  And I'm feeling SO much more rested than I have felt in a while.  That said, my 2.5 year run of not sleeping through the night myself is still going strong.  Just when Levi started having better nights at the beginning of December, I started needing to use the bathroom more thanks to a new little bundle of pressure on my bladder.  Lovely.  Oh well.  It is SO worth it.  And it is infinitely more restful to get up to use the bathroom, get a drink of water, blow my nose and go straight back to bed rather than to be up with a baby/toddler for who knows how long each night.  So I'll take what I can get for these last few weeks before baby #2 arrives.  And hopefully me posting this doesn't jinx what we have going here...!

Christmas...and life

Christmas was fun this year.  It usually is. :) We were able to spend time with both of our parents/siblings which was so nice.  After a few years of either not being able to go "home" for Christmas or else splitting a short visit between the two families (often driving on Christmas day), it is SO nice to be within easy driving distance of both parents.  We don't take that for granted!

Levi loved all his time with grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.  He does so well when we're out.  Aside from a little grumpiness at supper one night (easily solved by some quiet family-of-3 time away from the chaos after supper), he was a happy boy the entire time.  We sometimes have to pay for visits and lack of sleep once we get home, but mostly we just have such a happy and easy going boy.  LOVE HIM!

Nathan was back to work today (worked from home yesterday).  It's a bit weird to have him gone for so many hours after a couple weeks basically off.  I'm doing pretty good.  This third trimester is SO different than the end with Levi.  With Levi, I was mostly comfortable except for some backaches and swollen feet and just feeling heavy.  This time around I have toothaches (apparently they're normal?), hip aches, belly aches, back aches, shortness of breath, low blood pressure (which is better than high).  I don't have every symptom in the book, but alot more than last time.  Yesterday I was wondering if I would actually need my mom to come for a bit before the baby arrives because just carrying Levi or walking across the room is sometimes a challenge.  BUT...this is so worth it!  To know that we'll be having a new little person joining our family in just a matter of weeks...aah.  I can take a little pain and discomfort!  That said, if anyone has any good remedies for intense pain from lower belly to upper thighs (and everywhere in between), feel free to share!  haha.  I'm open to suggestions :)

I'm not sure what else is new. (Do I write that in every post or just think it?)  Beside getting ready for the baby and having tons of fun with my two men, there's not much on the calendar for this month.  Just relax and enjoy the last few weeks of being a family of 3.

Happy new year to you all!  If anyone has post ideas or questions or whatever...any ideas for what I should write about, let me know!  I'm a little stuck!  :D

nesting...and other pregnancy and life updates

I've been nesting lately.  This time around it is more in the form of "let's get rid of some STUFF" rather than "let's make sure everything is CLEAN."  Cleaning just seems so futile these days.  But if you purge some stuff, it's gone and it's not coming back the moment Levi wakes up :)  I can't help but think, too, that being 7-8 months pregnant over Christmas this year is a good thing!  As much as I don't love bundling up for the cold (huffing and puffing just from putting on my boots), the desire to keep clutter to a minimum has proven helpful in keeping the Christmas extras from taking over the house.  Out with the old, in with the new!

In other pregnancy "news"... ... ...this time around has been so different than when I was expecting Levi.  In the first trimester, I started showing earlier this time.  I was WAY more tired this time (likely thanks to not being on bed rest and not being able to have a nap whenever I felt like it).  Morning sickness was less this time, not that it was bad last time either.  In the second trimester this time, I barely felt pregnant.  I didn't notice my growing belly unless I looked in the mirror.  I was perfectly comfortable.  I got some energy back and didn't feel sick in the slightest.  Last time I think I felt decent too, but with a threatened miscarriage, I was taking every precaution and noticing every little feeling that was different from the norm, wondering if it was normal or something I should be worried about.  The third trimester in this pregnancy has been harder than the last.  I have been much more sore (again, probably thanks to not having been on bed rest and not taking it as easy as last time with a 2 year old to chase around).  I think walking on ice also doesn't help as one little slip on the ice has muscles stretched that I didn't even know I had!  I've also been feeling more of the "normal" pregnancy symptoms like heartburn and low blood pressure that I didn't really have to deal with much last time.  Third trimester is definitely my least favourite but I really can't complain.  I hear about people who are sick the full 9 months (or longer) and am just glad that I made it through the first 28-30 weeks in relative comfort!  I also can't complain because I know how much I begged and prayed for children and how much some of my friends are hurting to hold children of their own in their arms and I remember that this is really a small price to pay for the miracle that is motherhood.  It is not something to be taken lightly...each and every child that enters a family is a miracle, no matter how they got there.

Of course, I should probably throw in a little Levi-update!  Levi is growing up SO much!  He knows most of his letters.  He can count almost to 10 (1-2-3-7-8-9), usually in the right order.  We've been diaper-free for 5.5 months now, both daytime and nights (just HAVE to brag about that one!). He is talking more all the time.  He loves to use phrases that he hears Nathan and I using:
- "of course"
- "much better"
- "stay puppy! good dog."
- "no puppy!  bad dog. stay!"
- "oh no!  big mess!"
- "alright."
He has started singing in the last couple weeks which is so cute!  Before he would sing E-I-E-I-O, but now he is starting to sing songs on his own like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Clean Up Song (clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere), Wonder Pets theme song, etc.  He also loves when we sing songs with/to him...they can even replace a bedtime story for him if it's a late night because he loves it so much.  Speaking of stories, he has discovered the fun of made-up stories.  He often asks for "car story" at bedtime, which means that I am supposed to make up and tell him a story about a car.  Sometimes I get him to tell me a story too.  I tell most of the story, asking him to fill in details like colours and activities.  It can get quite interesting to see his little imagination at work!  Levi loves all things animals, especially if they're living and breathing and happen to be puppies (or kitties).  Lennox is finally starting to tolerate Levi's affection...after 2 years of Levi chasing him, it is about time he just accepted that the boy isn't leaving.

Nathan is still enjoying his work after almost 1.5 years at the church.  We really appreciate the way this church gives the pastors time with their families and also time for self-care.  Not all churches do that, often leaning more to the side of overworking their pastors (usually unintentional, I'm sure).  To be at a church where we feel appreciated and cared for is certainly a blessing and answer to prayer!

Not much else is happening.  We're right in the middle of Christmas celebrations, having just spent a couple days with Nathan's family and looking forward to time with my family.  And soon it will be the new year!  The year that we welcome another little person into our family.  It feels so surreal.  How did this happen so easily this time after so many years of waiting and praying last time?  I can't even describe how many times during this pregnancy I actually had to check the mirror to make sure that I wasn't dreaming it all.  But that's a side note.  Hope you all have a good start to the new year!

Picture Post

I don't have much to write so I thought I'd share a few pictures with you...since it's been a month since ANYTHING has happened here...

Levi's first sled

Levi loves his "white playdough" aka "moon sand" (flour and baby oil mixed together)

Levi loves our Christmas tree...and "nice" game aka "dice" game...he'll cook with dice, put them in and out of containers, hide them, find them, etc.  No matter how much I try to get Levi to say "dice" instead of "nice" it just doesn't happen for him.  "D-D-Nice!"  haha

We have our tent set up in our basement right now.  Levi loves it, though I think the novelty might be wearing off...time to take it down so that it's special again when I need a great "new" toy once baby is here!

Levi isn't always a fan of winter wear.  He has gotten MUCH better at being ok with being bundled than he was in fall though!

Sorting pom poms by colour

Lennox is forced to stay on this blanket after he comes in from the snow until he is dry so Levi has taken full advantage of him not being able to run away.  I'm starting to think that Lennox doesn't mind Levi as much as he used to though...he gets many hugs and kisses each day!

Where did Levi go?!

And for those who aren't on facebook, here is the latest belly shot.  7 months down, 2 to go!

Parenting and Screens

Have you ever noticed how many snapshots of kids these days have a parent in the background who is present in body but completely immersed in the world of their smart phone or iPad?  As I've looked at pictures on fb and blogs, especially in the past week, it has struck me just how common this has become.  And it has me thinking: how is this affecting the children??

I think back to my own childhood and the only thing I remember my parents being distracted by (like, mind totally in another world and not able to get their attention easily when I needed/wanted it) were books and conversation.  But more often than not, they were mentally available when I needed them, whether or not they were "busy" with something else.  How would my childhood have been different if one or both of my parents had spend every free moment with their eyes (and minds) glued to the tv, cell phone, computer, or tablet?  I think I may have gotten the impression that parents/adults:
- are hard to get attention from
- are distracted
- don't really want to be with me
- would rather sit and look at a screen than do anything else
- aren't really there for you
- don't think kids are important enough to pay attention to unless the attention is begged for

I'm as guilty as anyone.  I spend time online while Levi is awake, both on my phone and on my computer.  And it strikes me almost daily how I could be doing much more valuable things with my time.  How would my days with Levi (and our attitudes/patience levels with each other) be different if I was truly present in everything I did when we're together? It breaks my heart when I think about what my time online is teaching him. (not that ALL time online or being "distracted" is all bad, but when it becomes a daily part of life, maybe it needs to be examined?)

Does Levi ever feel like I don't really care about him?  Does he ever feel like what I see on my screen is more important than him?  Does he feel like he has to whine for things because asking nicely just simply fails to get my attention?  How would things be different if I moved my computer downstairs permanently and left my phone on the counter during the day, only checking things when he is napping or in bed for the night?

I intend to find out.  I've certainly cut back on internet use in the past (multiple times throughout Levi's life, though it invariably creeps up time and again) because I've always been aware of this danger.  But having seen pictures of it so often this past week, it has been brought to my mind yet again and I am feeling the need to renew my effort in being present with my child (soon to be children). 

How about you?  What are your thoughts on this?  Agree?  Disagree?  Anything to add?  I'd love to hear from you!

Number Two

Before Nathan and I decided to try to have more children, we seriously contemplated stopping at one. I am often tired and people who know me best would probably say that I often seem tired. It's true, mothering does take alot out of me and I do take whatever measures I can to try to conserve energy. But there is more to my story than that.

I've never been a super high energy person. Especially since second year Bible school, I have always been the one weighing the energy cost to potential commitments before I make them. If I get run down, it takes quite a bit of rest to recharge. Obviously, this had to be a consideration when we were talking about adding another child to our home. What would my days look like and could I handle another little person demanding my attention and energy?

While we understood that adding to our numbers would stretch me thin in the energy department, we decided to keep trying and low and behold, #2 is now on their way!  I would be lying if I said that I never worry about how I'm going to keep up. I sometimes lay in bed at night after being up with a crying toddler and imagine adding a sleepless baby to that and I get scared. But what it comes down to for me is that, despite the exhaustion and sleep deprivation and lack of energy, my days are still filled with joy. Being a mother is life-giving for me in a way that nothing else has been. It drains me of energy but fills me with something so pure and wonderful that I can't help but know that this is what I was created for.

When we were in the midst of infertility, I got all the sleep I wanted. I could sleep in on weekends and go to bed early if I was tired. If I got home from work early and needed to, I could nap before going out in the evening. I could spend hours on end alone, just recharging. And yet those years of my life were some of the most draining years of my life. I chalk it up to not having that piece that truly gave me life. I had nothing to pour myself into that replaced the energy spent with sheer joy.

Now, before you go saying that God should be that one life-giving thing in your life, I need to stop you. Yes, God fills his children with joy. Yes, when we pour our energy out for him, we are filled with an unexplainable zeal and drive that only comes from him. But I also believe that God creates each of us to find different things life-giving. How else can you explain the pastor's heart that feels as though it's being suffocated when it can't find a job?  Or a missionary's drive to reach people for Jesus, even putting the things most precious to them at risk?  Each of us has different passions/callings and when we pursue those things that give us life, that's when it becomes most about God and him using us to achieve his purpose.

Does working at camp exhaust you but you can't imagine life without it?  Do you feel the need to care for people, even when your heart absolutely breaks hearing their stories?  What gives you life?  What is it that fills you with an unspeakable joy and fulfillment, perhaps despite personal sacrifice?

For me, in this stage of life, it's being a mother. And whether it's being a mother to two or ten (not likely), if I keep relying on God for what I need every day, I will make it through and thrive. :)

Sleep

I've been struggling with sleep lately.  Lately being the past two years.  I remember Levi being 5 weeks old and wondering what in the world I was doing wrong because he wouldn't sleep more than a few hours at a time.  I was reminded by someone that he was only 5 weeks old and that it would come.  At the time I consoled myself with the thought that surely by the time he was 6 months old, he would be sleeping through the night.  Here we are, 2 years later, and he has never slept through the night more than 50% of the time.  In October?  Levi slept through the night 6 times.  That means he was up in the night 25 times.  And when he was up, it was up to 3-4 times a night.  Pee.  Teething.  Wanting a cuddle. You name it, he was up for it. 

Some nights I get downright frustrated.  I climb back into bed with a huff after being up with a crying boy for 30-45 minutes (especially when he's crying for no apparent reason) and struggle to fall asleep again (often to be awakened again just as I'm drifting off to sleep 45 minutes later).  Some nights I feel like I will never sleep through the night again.

Then today I had a reminder about how precious and fragile life is.  A Bible college friend of Nathan's lost his 8 month old boy this morning.  He and his wife woke up to find that their baby boy was with Jesus.  I saw a picture of a healthy, smiling baby dressed up for Halloween and sitting on his daddy's lap taken just last night.  And this morning it was but a dream, a lifetime ago.

When Levi would cry out in the night in the first few weeks/months, my breath would sometimes catch in my throat because I was just so thankful that there was a cry.  That he was alive. That he was breathing and awake and needing me.  Somewhere in the past two years, I have lost that sense of relief when he calls out for me in the night.  I have instead been feeling frustrated, annoyed, like burying my head under my pillow and ignoring him.  And yet how very thankful I should be!  First, that I have a son at all!  I prayed for years for a baby who would wake me up at night. I longed for sleepless nights and my prayers have been answered!  Second, that he has breath in his lungs to be able to cry.  That he's healthy and alive.  That he's in his room at home, just across the hall, and not in the hospital somewhere.  That I CAN go to him and make it all better.

I've been holding my boy a whole lot tighter today and telling him over and over again just how much I love him.  Every day with him is such a gift.  And when he cries for me tonight, I'll go into his room with just a bit more patience and love and tenderness than I have been lately...

Picture Post

Levi's "cheese" smile.  Except he doesn't says cheese...it's just the smile we get when we ask him to smile.

"Levi, do you want a picture with Lennox?" "YEAH!" (Lennox will never sit any closer than this to Levi so I had to get creative with camera angle)

Levi was a little leery of my camera angle choice, not sure how I would get both him and Lennox in a picture at once.

There, both boys looking at the camera.  We'll save smiles for next time...

Levi LOVES to play guitar with Daddy.  And I don't think Daddy minds sharing...!

More "cheese."

Levi gets this facial expression from his Daddy.  I laugh every time I see it.  It's their "I know I'm being silly but I'm going to pretend that I'm serious and not smiling" face.

And last but not least, here's a picture of how the latest "project" is coming along.  I started this pregnancy being about 6-8 weeks ahead of last pregnancy in terms of how big I was.  I'm happy to report that growth seems to have slowed and I'm within 2-5 weeks of where I was last time with size.  And I'm weighing less than I did last time at this point!  Crazy, no?  I think it must be thanks to all the toddler activity that keeps me busy day and night cause I sure know it's not thanks to me resisting my sugar cravings...  Sleep is getting a bit more difficult these days (bring on the PILLOWS!) but mostly I'm still really comfortable and enjoying this pregnancy.  What an incredible blessing this little one is.  It's absolutely unbelievable to be expecting #2 when 3 years ago we were past the 3 year mark of infertility and wondering if we would ever even have one...THANK YOU, JESUS!  May I never forget the blessing that these little ones are!

Pictures from the Past

My mom sent a package of pictures to me this summer as I was collecting pictures for a slideshow for my brother's wedding.  I always love to see pictures from my childhood, especially ones that didn't make it into my personal childhood album.  Since I scanned them all, I thought I would share a few of me and my siblings.  I'm the middle child, the girl in the pictures who is the same size as her brother who's two years younger. (we were often mistaken for twins in these years)  My sister is only 13.5 months older than me, but there is a much bigger size difference between the two of us!  Now that we've all reached our full heights, my sister and I are closer (my sister still being a few inches taller than me) and my brother is 6'.  Crazy how that works.  I still think it should have been evened out a little more.  Nothing wrong with splitting the height genes and each being 5'6", right?  Or give my brother an extra couple inches and split the difference with my sister?  No?  Oh well.  I guess I"ll take all 4'10" that I have and wear heels when I must.  Anyway, enjoy!  Aren't we CUTE?!

Grocery Shopping - a late night ramble

I've always liked grocery shopping.  Well, mostly.  Reaching the top shelves gave me a bit of anxiety when Nathan and I were first married.  Now I just climb when I need to and everything is well in the world again.  But yeah, there is just something about the grocery shopping process that is soothing.  Making a list. (checking it twice - yeah right!) Looking through the flyer for sales.  Going to the store.  Checking things off the list.  Bringing the grocery items home and putting them all away in the empty spot where their predecessor sat before being used up. There is just something nice about a freshly stocked pantry.

In the years that Nathan and I have been married, we have lived in towns with various grocery shopping options.  The first place we lived was a small town with two competing grocery stores.  We could get everything we needed in town and had a Superstore/Walmart half an hour away where we chose to get certain things at a fraction of the cost. We had our "city" list and our "home" list.

The next place we lived was a city.  Because we had to drive to the nearest grocery store (about a mile away), we picked up groceries less often but it was more of a big deal when we went.  We probably shopped about once a week. It was economical and oh-so-convenient for those "oh no, I need lettuce!" moments.

The last place we lived before our current location was a small town.  (Village maybe even?)  It had one grocery store.  It was not uncommon to find expired food, or nearly expired food, still on the shelves.  Packages of diapers (that I occasionally needed to purchase when our washing machine froze up in winter) required a wipe-down to rid them of years of dust that had accumulated.  Produce was hit or miss and prices were usually twice as much as at the grocery stores in the city.  The local grocery store was great for emergencies and had some good sales, but 90% of our grocery shopping was done in the city, a mere half hour away.

Now, we're back in a small town with two competing grocery stores.  Our grocery shopping looks very much like it did in the first few years of marriage.  I go to my favourite local grocery store every couple days to pick up what I need for supper or to stock up on a sale item (only visiting the other store when there is an exceptional sale).  Day to day groceries are bought in town, the rest (stock up shopping) is done an hour away in the city about once a month.

We've been shopping like this for a year now and lately I've been feeling a pull to do more local shopping.  I appreciate so much that there are grocery stores in town, and the fact that there are two competing stores keeps the prices lower and the selection higher.  So why wouldn't I support these stores for the majority of my shopping?  Why do I run to the city with my full grocery list when I can get everything I need in town? 

Well, those are good questions.  And to answer them, I'm going to do an experiment.  I'm going to take the plunge and do all my shopping locally.  ((Oh boy, I just thought of our Costco membership...do we give that up?!))  Would we save money buying groceries in town and not spending that $30+ on gas each month to drive out? Not having a Costco membership would save us $50 a year right there!  And that's not even factoring in how stressed we get when we go into the city for a shopping day with our two year old and feel like we're literally running from one place to the next for 6 hours straight.  It would be much simpler to make a list each week with the local flyers, pack up my (soon to be) two kids and drive the 3 blocks downtown to buy what I need.  It would also solve the problem of stocking up too much when in the city because "who knows when we'll be in the city again?!"  Hmm...the more I think about this, the more I am convinced that this is the way to go!  (I wonder if Nathan will be on board??)  Maybe we could even find a babysitter for an hour each week and make grocery shopping our date night!  That would be a step up from our nonexistent date nights that are currently on our calendar. Now there's something that might convince hubby that this is a good move ;)

What about you?  How do you feel about local shopping?  Do you shop locally or find yourself driving to check off your list? 

Time for another post?

I think the tiredness and sluggishness that comes with third trimester has hit me early this time around.  I just can't seem to catch up with sleep.  I can sleep 9 hours at night and nap for 2 hours in the afternoon and still just feel pooped.  Oh well.  I really can't complain because otherwise I'm feeling excellent and anticipating the arrival of this little one VERY eagerly!  And because I know how hard it is to keep track of someone else's pregnancy (never mind your own after the first!), I'm currently at about 23 weeks.  So 3 more weeks to go before 3rd trimester officially hits.

Aside from being tired, let's see what else has happened in the past week?  OH!  I chose which diaper bag I wanted and bought it.  Nathan gave me a coupon for a new diaper bag for my birthday last month and after doing a bunch of research and looking around, I decided on the Lug Hula Hoop bag in purple:

I also spent my birthday money and bought a sewing machine:

(my, what a purple theme I have going today...purple shirt, purple bag, purple (and white) sewing machine!)

As a result of the new machine, I have been doing a bit of sewing:

And of course, I have been busy crocheting too.  I don't have any pictures of what I'm working on currently, but if you follow my shop on FB, you'll see pictures of the latest soon!  With the chillier weather, people are thinking about Christmas gifts and keeping their kids warm, two things that keep me in business!  And I'm very much enjoying all the creating that I get to do as a result :)

Well, I'm not sure what else is new so I think I'll leave it at that.  Besides, the pizza that's in the oven is READY!  Time for some supper!  Yum.